A letter written to inform parents of planned school changes in Dundee is so unclear it has been branded as “tripe dissolved in twaddle”.
Liam Reddington from the Plain English Campaign claimed a message on changes to catchment areas from Dundee City Council education director Michael Wood is “lost in a deluge of jargon and gobbledegook”.
The letter was sent out to parents recently with the aim of making them aware of proposed changes resulting from the closure of Menzieshill High School.
It contains words including “redelineation”, with one paragraph running to more than 80 words, broken up by three semicolons and containing the word “catchment” five times.
Mr Reddington said: “Plain English gives us the best chance to read, understand and if necessary, act on information the first time we read it.
“Michael Wood has clearly misunderstood both the purpose of the writing and the audience it is aimed at.
“In this context, writing should clearly inform and not confuse with words such as ‘redelineation’ and also complex sentence construction.
“The message is lost in a deluge of jargon and gobbledegook and therefore the writing is not fit for purpose. It is tripe dissolved in twaddle.”Read the full letter by clicking hereAn online readability test gives Mr Wood’s letter a score of 28.2 as difficult to read as the Harvard Law Review, an academic journal once headed by current US President Barack Obama with one paragraph receiving a score of -43.6
Several letters regarding the consultation were sent out to parents on January 9.
Labour’s education spokesman, Laurie Bidwell, said: “Both the letters and the longer documents are a real challenge to read through. The letters take a long time to get to the point.
“For example, if your child lives in Lochee or Menzieshill, the important point is that the council is asking you what you think about closing down Menzieshill High School in June 2016 and transferring pupils from your area to Harris Academy instead.
“Some of the terms used are also a bit obscure. For example, was it really necessary to use a words like ‘redelineation’ of the catchment area when ‘change’ the catchment area would have been clearer?
“The council clearly could improve on its clarity of communication with all those it wants to be involved in these four consultations.
“I hope there is still time for an alternative set of leaflets or flyers to be produced and circulated by the education department.”
A Dundee City Council spokesman said: “The consultation process, including letters to parents and carers, on each of the four school estate proposals must follow the legal guidance as set out in the Schools (Consultation) (Scotland) Act 2010.
“Each letter encourages anyone who wants to express their views on the proposals to put their views in writing to Mr Michael Wood, Director of Education, Floor 2, Dundee House, 50 North Lindsay Street, Dundee, DD1 1NL or via email to education@dundeecity.gov.uk.
“In addition, each letter gives the date and times of a series of public meetings to discuss the relevant proposals.
“We would invite people to attend the relevant meeting and make their views known.”