Ahoy there scurvy-ridden, bilge-drinkin’ land lubbers, there’s treasure in thum thar seas.
Arr.
Having thus exhausted my far from exhaustive lexicon of pirate-chat (for that is what the above was), I should perhaps get round to explaining the reasons for Coming Up Corner’s descent into the kind of carefree talk that almost certainly characterised everyday life at sea circa 400 years ago.
It’s like this…
Back in the 17th century Dundee-born pirate Captain William Kidd (he’s in Davey Jones’ locker now, for the avoidance of doubt) amassed a huge haul of treasure worth £100,000 the modern day equivalent of a staggering £12 million.
He buried a cache somewhere on his travels before later being sentenced to hang, his body being left to rot in public view for three years to deter other would-be pirates.
A swash-buckling, if ultimately a little grisly, tale, to be sure.
And that might be the end of it were it not for Albert (the “t” is silent) Fagioli a mechanic in the French beverage can industry AND (and this is crucial) an amateur sleuth.
Now he has used ancient divining powers and just a soupcon (told he was French) of “extrasensory ability” to discover the treasure island where Kidd buried his loot.
You, dear reader, can find out where it is in Tuesday’s buccaneering Courier.
I’m tempted to stop there because frankly if that isn’t enough to draw you in, I’m not sure what will.
Nevertheless, should you still require convincing, perhaps you will enjoy our tale of a very special birthday for Dundee University’s satellite centre.
The facility has turned 40.
We look back at some of its finest images including pictures of Britain covered in a blanket of snow during that rather chilly spell in 2010 and the country under a huge ash cloud after Icelandic volcano Eyjafjallajkull (glad there isn’t an audio element to this teaser…) blew its top.
Golfers especially lady ones will be intrigued to read our tale about the R&A.
If you recall, the chaps at said institution recently voted to allow female members.
But have any of the fairer sex actually played a round as a member yet?
We investigate.
Meanwhile, we have news of a super space-related posthumous honour for Fife author Iain Banks and all the latest in the wake of the A9 speed camera stats being released to an expectant nation.
It is already shaping up to be the best Tuesday ever (and there have been some ruddy good ones). Please do be sure to pick up your copy of The Courier. Failing that, why not try our digital edition?