What an array of stories we have in Tuesday’s Courier. A veritable smorgasbord of delicious tales.
For starters we reveal full details of Dundee Utd’s cup final song. It’s utter tripe (I’m not being unfair or biased here. All football cup final songs are tripe. Bizarrely, even being tripe doesn’t stop cup final songs from being brilliant. Only in a tripe-y kind of way).
Don’t despair Saints fans, we also cater for you. Perhaps you will tempted by our cup final appetiser detailing the creation of some bright blue pies (that’s pehs for our Dundee readers).
I promised you a shambles in the heading and a shambles I intend to provide (the crueller among you may say I have already). It comes in the form of an apology from the organisers of this summer’s Commonwealth Games after some frankly shambolic (told you) ticket sales.
The observant among you will spot I have now delivered on two out of the three cast-iron promises I made when penning a headline for this little apritif.
It is at this timely juncture that I intend to make good on the third and final guarantee.
A gulper’s measure was enjoyed by Prince William as he helped to rededicate a submarine on Monday. Not a bad way to start the working week really. Find out how the aforementioned measure (basically a quantity of rum, more than a sip but, I imagine, considerably less than a pint) went down in Tuesday’s thirst-quenching Courier.
We also report on news that will make pregnant women roar with ill-concealed rage (potentially). It comes in the form of a report which suggests ladies with children (still in their tummies that is) are more likely to crash their car. It’s all to do with the fact they are suffering from “baby brain”, which researchers describe as a kind of “mental fog”. Controversial stuff, I would tentatively suggest. Make up your own mind on perusing our pages.
In sport, we have more on cup final week.
There are five (count ‘em) pages in sport dedicated to Saints and United. (Note – I am well aware you can’t physically count them or indeed ‘em until Tuesday. What I am intending to do is convey a very clear sensation that there is a plethora of cup final build-up tailored specially for your enjoyment).
Stevie May has some good news for Perth fans, while Morgaro Gomis is hoping that he’s done enough to earn a start on Saturday.
We also speak to Tommy Wright, David Wotherspoon, Steven Anderson, Steven MacLean and Ryan Gauld. A heck of a lot of talking. But well worth it.
It really does add up to one thing quite possibly the best news and sport package ever witnessed on a Tuesday in May. At least for some considerable time and certainly not less than a week. Please do be sure to pick up your copy of the Courier. Failing that why not try our digital edition? I will quite literally never, ever tire of asking that question.