It is our pleasure to introduce to you the Tayside lady tying the knot for the FIFTH time.
Among guests at the wedding were her mum and step-dad. Who also happens to be her ex-husband.
Other former partners include a chap who forgot to tell her he was already married.
Another ex is a fellow who very kindly stepped in as groom after the gent she was supposed to be marrying a friend of his got cold feet on the eve of the joyous ceremony. It was his indubitable honour and pleasure to step into the breech and join her in holy union.
Sadly it all went wrong and the perennially blushing bride ended up marrying a friend of her first husband (remember he’s the one who then married her mum). But that went wrong when she started having an affair with the bloke she married this week. Phew, glad I’ve made all that clear.
Get the full story in your eternal Courier it will all but guarantee you live happily ever after.
That remarkable read aside, there is plenty more for you to seek your Saturday teeth into.
For example and it is only an example you may well find yourself inextricably drawn to our spread on the V&A. The museum is coming to Dundee. But the main attraction is in London. Which caused us to hatch a plan cunning yet almost fiendish in its simplicity.
We (by which I mean The Courier) would dispatch a reporter to London to find out more about plans to bring an offshoot of the famous venue to Dundee.
We tossed, turned and debated the idea from every possible angle. The conclusion? That it was a ruddy robust and fruity plan which we should enact as soon as humanly possible.
So we did. Andy Argo was the lucky fella and you can read all about it in Saturday’s Courier. It really is that simple.
We also have the remarkable story of action here Thievan Seagull. He is the audacious bird which has got all and sundry in a flap with his shoplifting antics. For sure feathers have been ruffled, but will he up before the beaks?
It may sound bird-brained, but believe me this one’s going to fly. Don’t miss the full story.
It would be churlish to ignore the referendum, and if there is something we are not, it’s churlish (please see all the stories listed above for evidence of our very serious nature).
We have news of Salmond on the campaign trail in Courier Country, Farage strutting his stuff in Glasgow, all the latest polling information, top tweets, quotes of the day, details of how the world views the debate and lots of other political goodies. There really is more than you could shake a stick at (if you were so minded).
It is my duty to warn you that, should you miss Saturday’s Courier, you could very well end up regretting it for the rest of your life. And that is a sobering thought. Please don’t live a life of regret. If you can’t, shan’t or won’t buy print why not invest in our top-notch digital edition instead?