Ssshhhhh….
Her Majesty is speaking and there will be no Coming Up repeats, NO clapping.
Yes, it was Queen’s Speech day in Westminster and amidst all the pomp and circumstance, ermine and buffoonery, that pesky lot from Scotchland were trying to make themselves heard.
Mere days after having the temerity to get themselves elected en masse, the #56 gleefully slapped one hand against the other in mindless abandon, earning a stern rebuke from a wee guy on a high chair.
Meanwhile, a bunch of other folks in suits spoke in almost pure acronym EU, EVEL, VAT, SNP etc and so on.
Frankly, Coming Up’s mind had begun to wander and the rest of the day at Parliament passed us by.
Luckily for us, political boffins remained alert with the steely determination only those who perk up at the mention of “full fiscal autonomy” can.
They wrapped up the whole lot and packaged it in a couple of pages for Thursday’s Courier.
If that doesn’t take your fancy and let’s face it, why would it? there’s plenty more to bag a copy for.
We have a tale of a four-year-old kid left at one of Scotland’s premier tourists spots when his classmates left for home and the ensuing scramble to locate him.
We have a plan to mess with the school day in Dundee.
We have the sale of a St Andrews house for a mere £2.25 million or thereabouts (guess which famous hole it overlooks).
We have a new study of one of Scotland’s most famous battlefields.
And we have a mega-sale of Star Wars toys by not-at-all nerdy types who left them in the boxes instead of smashing them together in destructive galactic battles.
Not enough?
We’e squeezed in some sport – a St Johnstone defender going under the knife; the first interview with Dundee’s new striker since he signed; a new deal for a Fife team’s manager.
You’re sated? We’re done.
No need to clap….