Coming up in Thursday’s Courier A blinding vortex of pure news

Like most people, Coming Up can get overwhelmed at times.

The sheer cascade of news that’s dumped on our desk every day can be too much.

We want to run, screaming, from Coming Up Corner as world event after world event flits in front of our eyes in a dazzling vortex of pure news.

Earth shattering happenings are burned into our brains and nothing will ever be the same again.

Brace yourselves:

Zayn Malik has left One Direction.

Jeremy Clarkson has been sacked from Top Gear.

Labourhave been taken hostage by Alex Salmond. (Eh?)

80s rock gods Marillion are playing Centerparcs in Holland.

Russell Brand is Britain’s top intellectual.

Dundee has some really, REALLY fat pets.

Scotland are so good at football, we can choose not to call up Real Madrid players.

Is it even possible to make sense of it all?

Coming Up certainly can’t. But better folks have and they’ve wrapped it all up in a handy 56 pages and called it Thursday’s Courier.

Enjoy.