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Comment: Make sure you mean it when you say you’re fine

"Lockdown and getting through our summer jobs quickly has given me an opportunity to take stock of where I’m at in my life".
"Lockdown and getting through our summer jobs quickly has given me an opportunity to take stock of where I’m at in my life".

So how are you and how’s your mental health holding up to lockdown and coronavirus?

That’s the question I asked myself recently after doing a short social media video for the excellent charity RSABI, which is trying to recruit new supporters. Please get in touch with them directly if you’d like to join in.

There’s an increasing demand for the charity’s support, with 44 new referrals for help in May alone. Due to restrictions there’s no Great Glen Challenge this year, which was their main fundraiser in the past, so a real loss to their income.

“I’m fine” is my usual response to being asked how I am, but below the surface am I really fine?

Like everyone I’ve had to change my daily routines when shopping; I wear a face mask, I queue and I travel with hand sanitiser.

All those essential meetings that demanded attendance and travel to the other end of the country, I now find can be done with Zoom. Where was Zoom in the past when I’d lose days on the road away from home?

Meanwhile, despite the pandemic, farm work marches on with the seasons and we’re finished our shearing and silage early thanks to the weather playing ball.

Lockdown and getting through our summer jobs quickly has given me an opportunity to take stock of where I’m at in my life. Turning 50 in the spring also made me set fresh personal goals.

I’m needing a better work-life balance, and without sounding selfish, I need to prioritise myself. We all have lots of demands on our time but knowing when to say no politely is a really important life lesson.

My niece sends me Technology Entertainment Design (Ted) talks which are free online talks described as “ideas worth spreading” with powerful messages from inspirational speakers.

I’ve also downloaded an app on to my phone where I can listen to hypnotherapy to get better sleep through to remaining positive and energised. They work for me and help to rationalise the sometimes mad world outside of the farm.

I remind myself to only worry about the things I can influence and change. So concerns around Brexit, recession and lower imported food standards are punches I just have to roll with and adjust my farm business to where I can.

I need more fun in my life and not just continual work-related commitments. So with this in mind I phoned a close friend and asked her to look out for another horse for me.

It’s a thought I’ve had for some time but I was never brave enough to vocalise. She knows me well so I also threw in the question – did she think I had gone mad? She too had recognised that my life had become work-heavy.

The search was on and she gave me a couple of options but in a matter of days she had secured me a Highland mare named Lulu.

She’ll be arriving home later this month. I’m so looking forward to her arrival, she’ll be much-loved and just the injection of fun I’ve been needing.

As the saying goes – “when you say ‘yes’ to others make sure you are not saying ‘no’ to yourself”.