As I write this I am trying to fend off the small hands of a 16-month-old toddler who is only too keen to help type by pressing any button on the laptop.
Daughter Alice is now walking and she has reached that point every-one warned us about, the “eyes on the back of your head stage”. It’s fantastic to see her developing though, and every week she seems to learn some new skill.
However in order to let me write this article in peace I’ve had to call on the help of the Teletubbies on CBeebies.
Comfort TV
This has made me realise how my life has changed so much as myself and my college pals used to watch this whilst hungover at Agricultural College.
It was good “comfort” TV, and our sore heads didn’t have to worry too much about working out the plot lines.
This will be Alice’s first proper Halloween so I’m determined to be old school and teach her the torture of carving out a neep to make a lantern rather than the increasingly popular Americanised pumpkins –although Morag insists on doing the latter just to prove how easy it is.
I am more excited about bonfire night though as it’s the only night of the year that us farmers are allowed to have a proper “red up”.
If I think its bedlam just now with one toddler, things are about to get a lot more chaotic come April 14 as I’m delighted to say that Morag is expecting again.
This is great news but I’m sure the farmers amongst you will notice that arrival date of this next addition probably isn’t the best as we will be busy sowing, lambing and calving (the animals) by then.
But I’m sure we’ll manage, and everyone will just have to muck in, as long as baby arrives safely that’s all that matters and to be honest I wasn’t really thinking gestation dates at the time!
Lambing
We have adjusted some plans to cope by bringing lambing forward into March so fingers crossed for good weather. The tups have been out for nearly two weeks now, marching around the field chatting up every ewe like a group of young farmers at the Royal Highland Show.
It’s great to see things opening up again and I met up with two college mates last week to go and the see the new James Bond film .
“No Time To Die” is obviously not an issue for sheep as we had the knackery in yesterday picking up an old tup ….like Daniel Craig himself, the tup was probably a few years past his best, but least he went with a smile.
However frustrating farming is it certainly gives me plenty of material for comedy and I’m pleased to say I’m getting back on the wagon with six nights at the Birnam Institute at the end of November where myself and three other very funny comics will be trying out new material.
Since I haven’t performed live stand-up for over a year and a half I must admit I am half excited-half sweating about it.
I have a reoccurring dream where I’m in a room back stage and the announcer says “Jim Smith to stage in five minutes” and I can’t remember any material.
I’m sure it’ll be fine though, and I’m looking forward to testing out my new stuff as some of my old jokes were that worn out they were owned by Scottish Natural Heritage.
But with everything that’s happened in the past 20 months – Covid, Brexit, St Johnstone doing the double, the astonishing price of lambs, the astonishing price of fence posts and the birth of Alice with another one on the way – I’m sure I’ll manage to churn out a humorous set,.
If not then both me and the audience are in for a long six nights.
Tickets for Jim Smith’s show can be bought from Birnam Arts.
