I enjoy grammar. I like sentences to be constructed properly. I think punctuation is vitally important. Most of all, I am passionate about word meanings. I find it difficult to stay quiet when I hear a word used incorrectly.
I like a wrangle over whether “dotard” has to mean a person suffering senile decay, or merely one who excessively dotes upon some thing, someone, or some matter. I’ll argue for days about “ironic” as the opposite of expectation or an amusing coincidence.
But, unfortunately, most word meaning misuses aren’t so interesting. They are doddypollic (that means “stupid”, but I’m willing to debate the matter with anyone who has time on their hands).
As lockdown eased, I visited a barber. When I told the young lady what I desired (the usual short back and sides) she responded by saying “amazing”. I didn’t challenge her as it is never wise to provoke people wielding scissors in proximity to your ears.
My photo is at the foot of this column. To the best of my knowledge my hairstyle has never amazed anyone.
And I recall an incident from the olden days, when we frequented places called “shops”. I was in a fast food franchise. You select a type of bread roll and fillings. The assistant assembles the ingredients, toasts it all for 30 seconds then looks at you with disdain when you say you don’t want salad. You’ll know the chain I mean.
I’d related the types of meat, cheese, more cheese, and extra cheese I wanted, and the girl double checked I was finished ordering. Upon hearing that my needs had been met, she muttered “awesome”. Anyone genuinely awed by my lunch needs to get out and see more of the world.
Both of these people meant “OK”, or “yes”, or “righto, I’ll see to that”. But that’s not what they said.
Now these are largely harmless examples of word misuses. You’ll think I’m constructing a mammoth mountain out of a paltry molehill. But these things change the meaning of words and so change the language. If awesome continues to be used as a synonym for OK, then it will become just OK. It will lose the sense of inspiring awe. What word will we use to describe a truly awesome event?
I see your look of pity, all ye who insist this is natural and normal. You say words inevitably take on new meanings and gather nuances. The language evolves, all we can do is modify our understanding of it.
Well you can, if you like. I cannot. I’d call the Pyramid of Cheops or an erupting volcano “awesome”. I’d be “amazed” to see a man fly, a horse talk, or the sun rise in the west. I’m too set in my ways to change, and damn proud of it.
Word of the week
Ebriety (adjective)
State or habit of intoxication (opposite of sobriety). EG: “I’d suspect ebriety among those who adopt new word meanings without a thought.”
Read the latest Oh my word! every Saturday in The Courier. Contact me at sfinan@dctmedia.co.uk
