I only went in for a cactus.
A small one for an empty shelf in the spare bedroom.
What I came out with was a giant inflatable LED polar bear (with baby bear on its back) and wicker reindeer which also lights up.
I can’t help it. Come Christmas, I see sparkly things and must have them in my home.
The challenge is getting them through the door without being spotted.
My husband knew even before he saw me.
So trained is he at witnessing my “festive problem”, he knew by the sound the key made in the door.
“What have you got this time?” he asked.
“Oh, just a little deer and a kind of giant blow-up, glow-in-the-dark inflatable bear with cub,” I replied.
“You’re kidding?”
“Don’t worry, we don’t have to have it inside. It’s an outdoors bear.” (I said this last sentence very proudly.)
“We live on top of hills. It’s really windy. It will blow away,” he said.
Undeterred, I blew the bear up (so big, it must be a daddy bear) – it actually blew up itself, just by plugging it into a socket.
The kids loved it – crawling in and out of its legs.
But I had to admit it didn’t quite look right.
In Glendoick Garden Centre on the way to Perth, it had looked fabulous – a centrepiece, suspended in mid-air, in its amazing Christmas department festooned with lights, statues of winter animals, moving polar bears seated at a table (heaven), tinsel… a Christmas lover’s dream. They do it so well.
But in my house, next to the pile of ironing, it looked… “Tacky”, according to my husband.
“It is not tacky,” I retaliated.
“Maybe not – it’s quite fun – but you just love tacky Christmas decorations,” he said.
“It’s the same every year. It’s ok. It’s just you.”
In truth, we (I) have amassed quite a collection.
Read more from Martel Maxwell here
I’ll never forget the look on his face when a huge gold reindeer (it was half-price, I couldn’t resist) was delivered.
My husband is minimalist (as am I – to a lesser extent – with general house decor) preferring not too much clutter. But Christmas is different.
In a huff, I texted my pal Suze – always to be relied on for honesty – a picture of our bear.
To which she replied: “Did you get it for free?”
I think she was joking. Maybe not. Who cares? It’s Christmas and we all need a bit of fun.
I love seeing people embrace Christmas with lights, trees and best of all, a full grotto-type display.
It warms the cockles and enriches the soul.
If my polar bear puts a smile on the face of one guest or passer-by, it’s worth it.
Just one problem.
I forgot to get the blinking cactus.