I’ve always had a problem with the word “whom”. I just don’t like it.
Of course I know when to use the word, and why it should be used. In formal writing, or speech, if you start a sentence with a preposition, you use whom: “to whom should I write this letter?”
You always use “whom” with an infinitive: “the man whom we believed to be guilty”.
For those who remember parsing a sentence, “who” is used when it is the subject of a sentence, “whom” when used as the object of a sentence.
But few people today get upset at incorrect usage because few remember the who/whom rules. And, it must be said, even I would admit that these rules (and there are more if you care to seek them out) are bit esoteric and difficult to remember. Therefore, does it matter?
A good question.
I am usually a stickler for proper grammar, but for once I find myself on what might be described as the lazy side of the argument.
A technically incorrect use of who/whom certainly doesn’t affect me in the way “wait on a bus” sets my teeth on edge; or amaze me as a ridiculously misused apostrophe does. And it doesn’t come close to the abandonment of hope for humanity I feel when seeing “under way” used as one word.
I know why I am so ambivalent about “whom”. It stems from an incompetent, indeed downright nasty, teacher.
I had some excellent teachers at school in the 1970s. One in particular (Mrs Law at Carnoustie High) I look back upon with warm affection. She was an inspirational and gifted educator.
However, one of her colleagues (who I will not name) was a mean-spirited shrew who liked nothing better than to lord it over her pupils. She appeared to think it more important to display her superiority than instil learning.
This teacher would pounce upon incorrect (in her eyes) usages of who and whom. But she wouldn’t explain proper usage. She merely insulted and belittled her young charges, salting the wounds she inflicted with a scattering of sarcasm.
More than 40 years later, I still bear a grudge. Though sometimes I ponder the insecurity problems she must have suffered that made her act so horribly.
The legacy, however, is a reticence to use “whom”. It is, in an admittedly petty manner – and more than four decades too late – my way of registering my displeasure with that teacher.
It is surprising, isn’t it, the effect a good or a bad teacher can have on your life.
Word of the week
Baragouin (noun)
Unintelligible speech or writing. EG: “The lengthy list of rules governing the use of who and whom are nothing but a baragouin.”
Read the latest Oh my word! every Saturday in The Courier. Contact me at sfinan@dctmedia.co.uk
