Politeness, good manners, and civility are traits I value greatly so it is with no small degree of shame that I must reveal that I found myself in a situation this week in which I failed on all three counts.
I watched a young lady write the (admittedly strange) phrase “hell for leather”, meaning to go recklessly fast. Except that isn’t what she put down. She wrote “L for leather”.
Dear reader, I laughed aloud.
I couldn’t help it, I gave a brief, but quite obvious, snort of mirth. It was very bad manners. I could have politely corrected her but I was, I’m afraid, so amused that I couldn’t help it. It was L of a funny. I’ll probably go to L myself now.
Now I’m in the mood, and having proved myself to be a very bad person, I might as well list other things that have recently amused me. It’s time for another rant.
The phrase is bated breath not baited breath, unless you are fishing and have eaten some of the worms.
It is a bridle path, not a bridal path. Unless it is a walkway for a woman about to be married.
The tip of the iceberg isn’t a high pinnacle you might reach as an achievement. It means there is much more unseen.
Mandate is not a synonym of “require”. You hurl insults, not hurtle them. You make a last-ditch effort, not a last itch effort. Scratch that.
Devout and devoted are different things. Ark and arc are shaped rather differently. Portrayed and betrayed are very different things.
Fast and loose, not fast a-loose. The phrase is brand-new, not bran-new. And I defy anyone not to smile as they try to imagine exactly how “aural contraception” works.
Celtic is a football club. If you talk about the Celtic civilisation the word starts with a K sound.
Amazingly, I saw “oh bleak” when oblique was intended. And I will leave it to you to unravel what pandamoanyum means. It’s possibly something to do with zoo complaints.
Online I have seen “atoll” when “at all” was intended; head chog when hedgehog was meant; “hall of cost” when referring to the holocaust. And, rather pungently I imagine, someone advising a friend that they will succeed if they put in hard work and defecation.
Lastly, this isn’t an error it merely makes me smile. Sports stars, award-winners, or anyone who has experienced a surprise will routinely, when interviewed, start by saying: “I’m speechless” or “There are no words to describe how I feel”. Then go on to use lots of words to describe exactly how they feel.
Word of the week
Irrefrangible (adj)
That which cannot or must not be broken. EG: “He broke the irrefrangible code of politeness and should be damned to the seventh pit of L.”
Read the latest Oh my word! every Saturday in The Courier. Contact me at sfinan@dctmedia.co.uk
