To pedants, those of us obsessed with detail, the festive season presents problems.
Firstly, it isn’t really a season. There are four seasons: spring, summer, autumn and winter. Christmas and the time period surrounding it is winter.
And if we calculate the modern era starting from the birth of Mr J. Christ, why isn’t Christmas Day also New Year’s Day?
Returning to seasons, in my opinion (and in defiance of many dictionaries), it is the season of good will to all men. Two words: good (adjective), and will (noun, meaning inclination or intention).
And ’tis the season to be jolly needs that apostrophe. Sometimes it is omitted. It has to be a proper apostrophe. Not a single opening quote. It must face the correct way.
Away In A Manger, states “the little lord Jesus lay down his sweet head”. This should, of course, be past tense: “laid down his sweet head”.
Similarly, The Crystals sing, “You better watch out, you better not cry” in their ditty Santa Claus Is Coming To Town. That should be: “You’d better watch out” and “You’d better not cry.”
Further, while “You’d” is a contraction of “you had”, it can also be a shortening of “you would”. I think the song should be reworded to avoid confusion.
The sentence construction in: “God rest ye merry gentlemen let nothing you dismay” is archaic, but I can forgive that. However, consistent use of “ye” or “you” should be employed. You can have one or the other but not both.
Then there is “Hark, the herald angels sing”. The comma is essential because it means “listen, the angels are singing”. If the comma is missing the phrase could mean the angels are simply repeating the intransitive verb “hark”. Which would be a tedious song, even if delivered by angelic voices.
And I will remind Christmas card producers that “season’s greetings” must have an apostrophe. Use of “seasons greetings” risks inclusion of the card printer on Santa’s naughty list.
I’d prefer this to be called “Santa’s list of naughty people”, as “Santa’s naughty list” might be misconstrued to mean the list itself is naughty.
Lastly, if you get a cracker that fails to make a “crack” noise, then it cannot be accurately termed a “cracker”.
It might be safer if you ask your neighbour at the Christmas dinner table to pull “a cracker or, depending upon aural performance, tube-shaped container for poor-quality bric-a-brac and unfunny jokes”.
This might get you an odd look, but the accuracy achieved is surely worth it.
Word of the week
Imbroglio (noun)
A confused heap. EG: “The annual orgy of rampant consumerism and over-indulgence that we term ‘Christmas’ is an imbroglio of half-understood traditions and ill-considered fiscal outlay.”
Read the latest Oh my word! every Saturday in The Courier. Contact me at sfinan@dctmedia.co.uk
