I read about a scientific study the other day that said daytime naps were good for you. But in the comments section underneath (it was an online thing) a chap talked of his liking for twenty winks.
I was outraged. What calumny is this to inflict upon the language? Everyone knows the saying is forty winks, not twenty, no matter how long the snooze lasts. The chap may have been trying to be clever. If I met him I’d disabuse him of that notion.
People often get idioms, sayings and words wrong: damp squid, tender hooks, pacific problems, etc.
I’ve been collecting new mistakes, or at least ones I hadn’t seen before. But I shouldn’t be the only one to suffer so I list them here.
The phrase is cloak and dagger, not smoke and dagger. I can’t help thinking of a chap with a knife and a Woodbine hanging from his lip.
A statue of limitations would be maquette. Low and behold might be done by a cow.
The word is lacklustre, not lack luster. That sounds to me like someone who lusts, but doesn’t put much effort into it. And woo betide sounds like an amorous disaster.
It isn’t possible to have a six-month anniversary.
And you’re not supposed to laugh at obituaries but it’s difficult when the deceased is described as: “known for his ready whit.”
You can cut a dash or strike a pose. But cutting a pose is nonsense. As is: “curled up in the feeble position”.
It is checkmate. Check mate is an instruction to a friend. It is a bald-faced lie, not a boldface lie. And is “chalk full” a blackboard with lots written on it?
The plural of crisis is crises. Same as basis and bases, analysis and analyses. It is depressing how often these are written incorrectly, even in newspapers not a million miles from here which should really know better!
“It’s out with my control”. Really? Did it take your control for a nice dinner?
I will end with what I think is an apocryphal story. Or I hope it is an apocryphal story. In a world where common sense is the rarest of commodities it might well be true.
The tale is of a young man who phoned the showroom to complain about his newly-purchased automatic car. He was having trouble with the PRND emblazoned on the gearstick.
He said “park” and “reverse” were fine, and it also worked in “day” mode. But wouldn’t move an inch in “night” mode.
Word of the week
Clatterfart (noun)
Someone who can’t keep a secret. EG: “There are political parties which indulge in various nefarious activities that they’d probably be better keeping to themselves. But they are staffed by such clatterfarts that the truth is always revealed eventually”.
Read the latest Oh my word! every Saturday in The Courier. Contact me at sfinan@dctmedia.co.uk
