I’m waiting for my train at Haymarket station when a wee man stops to ask me, “Are you no deid?”
It’s a weird moment. But then, as I was saying in last week’s column, anything goes in festival-time Edinburgh.
Even enquiries about one’s own death are probably not the strangest interaction you’ll have all day.
And actually, I know what this man is referring to: the recent on-screen death of my River City character, Sergeant Lou Caplan, via a fatal blow to the head – on a coffee table.
“Yes indeed,” I reply. “Broon breid. How are you, pal?”
Wee man claims he doesn’t watch River City, but his wife does. Classic.
If I had a quid for every male taxi driver and man in the street who has told me they don’t watch River City, but their wife does, before betraying a stunningly in-depth knowledge of my character’s storylines, I’d jump a tax bracket. Bless them. May they all be out and proud River City fans one day.
I know I am.
New River City format will keep TV drama at its best
I love our national soap, and all the super-talented people making it happen year in, year out – often against the odds.
Indeed, River City must be one of the most resourceful and resilient TV productions out there, surviving and thriving as one of Scotland’s most popular dramas for over 20 years now, and on the leanest of budgets too.
As of October, the show will be aired as three distinct series across the year, with six-week breaks in between.
Though an adjustment for all, this new series format is aimed at delivering the very best quality storylines and the kind of iconic moments River City is famed for – the shootout at Alex and Annie’s wedding, Bob’s proposal by cherry-picker, the ‘which-McLean-dunnit’ murder of Joe Dunn, all those Lenny and Lydia showdowns.
And I hope that the death of Lou Caplan might count as one of those moments.
I realise that ‘death by coffee table’ might not sound as dramatic as say, Bradley Branning falling to his death from the Queen Vic roof in Eastenders, or Hollyoaks’ Sarah Barnes plummeting from the sky after her girlfriend cut the cords on her parachute, or that plane crash that killed nine villagers in Emmerdale.
It was, however, the shock climax of a pretty gnarly three-way knife fight between DCI Shaw, Amber and Lou. Followed by a chilling parting shot from Shaw as she abandons Lou (in cold revenge for her sister’s death) to gasp her last breaths alone. Poor soul!
Rest in peace, Lou Caplan
I have loved playing Lou Caplan for the last five years. But like all good things, beloved acting roles must come to an end, and when they do, better to go out with a bang – or, in my case, a dirty great dunt to the head.
Soap death is a slippery thing, and maybe one day, in years to come, Lou Caplan will return – perhaps speaking fluent Italian since the head-dunt, with a new name, played by a different actor. You never know.
If Pat Butcher’s death on Eastenders was heralded “the end of an earring”, how to describe Sergeant Caplan’s demise? “The flushing of Lou”? “Murder polis?” “Hunted and dunted”?
In any case, after five brilliant years, the time has come to bring this telly cop to a full stop.
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