Each year hundreds of babies are delivered by surrogacy in the UK and according to one of the country’s leading agencies, trust is key.
Surrogacy has been termed ‘extreme babysitting’ and Surrogacy UK, a not-for-profit organisation, supports intended parents and surrogates before, during and after pregnancy.
Couples with fertility or health problems, such as cancers where pregnancy creates a recurrence risk, are among those who seek to have babies through surrogacy.
Gay couples – who make up about half of Surrogacy UK’s membership – also use the route to parenthood.
And since 2019 single parents have been given access to surrogacy, with the right to seek parental orders from courts.
While figures are not readily available of the number of babies born to surrogates, in 2019 eight parental orders were granted in Scotland and 582 in England and Wales.
How does surrogacy work?
Surrogacy involves either artificial insemination of sperm from the intended father or insertion of the mother’s impregnated egg.
But Alan White, a trustee of Surrogacy UK, said it is often a complex journey which should only be undertaken after thorough research and frank conversations.
He said: “Surrogacy in the UK is entirely legal but it’s not legal to advertise as a surrogate or to advertise for a surrogate.
“Finding a surrogate is one of the big barriers but by no means the only barrier.”
Finding a surrogate is one of the big barriers but by no means the only barrier.”
Alan White, Surrogacy UK
Surrogacy UK is one of several organisations which facilitate partnerships between surrogates and intended parents (IPs), which it refers to as teams.
Often IPs and surrogates have family connections but where that’s not the case, organisations like Surrogacy UK can help cultivate friendships.
Alan said: “What we try to do is a bit of hand-holding along the journey. There’s clearly a really complex relationship between the intended parents and the surrogate.
“Try to imagine what it’s like to maintain a relationship where the stakes are so high and where – some people call it extreme babysitting – someone is extreme babysitting your baby.
“If that relationship breaks down or there is tension in that relationship that can be really uncomfortable.”
Costs and expenses
To ensure the best outcome, Surrogacy UK encourages teams to have the difficult conversations – such as in what circumstances they would terminate and how they envisage their relationship post-birth – early on.
They are also encouraged to talk over finances, as although it is illegal to pay for surrogacy in the UK intended parents are expected to cover their surrogate’s expenses, such as lost earnings, travel and treatment costs and maternity clothes.
While relationships do occasionally break down, Alan said the vast majority of teams have a happy journey and outcome.
He said: “The soap opera view of surrogacy, that the surrogate runs off with the baby, that just doesn’t happen. I think it is a concern that people have when they enter, partly because of that media line.
The soap opera view of surrogacy, that the surrogate runs off with the baby, that just doesn’t happen.”
“The other concern for surrogates is that the IPs won’t take the baby. There’s risk and therefore there has to be trust on both sides.
“We totally recommend, whether people go through us or independently, that they really do their research about surrogacy.”
Who becomes a surrogate?
Most women who become surrogates, he said, do so because they get joy from enabling people to become parents.
“Some of our surrogates would say they have enjoyed being pregnant, that they want to help other people have children.
“Some of our surrogates say it’s their calling, it’s a question which doesn’t make too much sense to them, they just are surrogates.
“It’s often a surrogate’s life ambition as well.”
Legal parents
The Scottish Government advises those considering becoming parents through surrogacy to seek legal advice.
When the baby is born the surrogate is the legal parent until a parental order is granted to the intended parents, which can take many months.
Orders must be applied for to a court within six months of the child’s birth, with the agreement of the surrogate.
