If you thought you saw a man who looked suspiciously like Alan Cumming on the Glasgow Megabus last week, I’ve got news for you.
It was indeed the Hollyowood actor himself, travelling incognito under the cover of darkness to his new place of employment: Pitlochry Festival Theatre.
“I was being a man of the people,” smirks incoming artistic director Alan, 59, between bites of his lunch: a vegan sausage, salad, and Americano – black.
“Plus, I was in a disguise!”
I suppress a chuckle. It’s comical to imagine Bafta-winning Alan Cumming crushed up in a bus seat wearing a hoodie and a cap, cosplaying as Joe Normal.
He’s not known for hiding his light under a bushel.
When we meet, it’s in his new office: a modest Portakabin-style room in a rabbit warren of similar buildings out the back of the glass-fronted theatre.
And I can’t help but notice that his signature stylish splendour – today, a blazing orange checked shirt and burnt umber corduroy trousers, complete with striking black architect glasses – looks somewhat displaced against the bare white walls and mousy schoolroom carpet.
Cumming sizing up new Pitlochry role
Immediately upon entering the office, the Traitors US star plonks himself down on the floor, legs straight out, jammed up against the PVC window.
“What do you think?” he asks me, context be damned.
I look out the window at the stunning view over the River Tummel towards the hills, and instantly see the vision for a window seat.
“About the width of me again, I reckon?” he posits, already jumping up to look at something else. I get the sense he’s not looking for an answer.
I also have a feeling this room will be unrecognisable in a matter of weeks; Alan will put his bold, star-powered stamp on it.
And he plans to do the same with the theatre.
‘What do you call the woman on the front of a ship?’
Coming in hot on the heels of Pitlochry Festival Theatre’s former artistic director Elizabeth Newman, Alan’s canny to the fact that he brings a Hollywood-grade spotlight with him to Highland Perthshire.
And he’s not afraid to use it to attract famous faces and weighty names to the theatre in the hills.
“I am the face of the theatre now,” he pronounces, his Scottish accent brisk with actor’s enunciation.
“The mouthpiece, the…what’s the word? Hey Siri! What do you call the woman on the front of a ship?”
The Apple AI Siri helpfully provides the word “figurehead”.
“The figurehead!” he exclaims, satisfied. “I’ve got a lot to learn, to run a big ship like this,” he continues, more serious now.
“But if my mission is to take Pitlochry to the world and bring the world to Pitlochry, I know exactly how to do that.
“I have, because of my acting career, the facility, skills and contacts to do that.”
Bringing ‘bold faced names’ to Pitlochry
And the Goldeneye actor has started off strong with his “big name” line-up for the festival’s annual book festival, Winter Words.
“Programming Winter Words was really fun,” he grins. “I knew it was going to be the first thing that would be at the theatre under my tenure.
“So I thought it was really important that I put my stamp on it. I wanted it to have a taste of what my ethos in the future is going to be, my programming intentions in microcosm.”
For Alan, that ethos looks like “bold faced names” (broadcaster Kirsty Wark is headlining), “big, well-known writers” (including Scottish crime doyenne Val McDermid, and Shuggie Bain author Douglas Stuart) and “more diverse, unusual people and events as well”.
So he’s not worried about the fact that for a lot of the time, he’ll be running the theatre remotely from around the world while juggling ongoing acting jobs and other commitments, including spending time in New York with husband Grant Shaffer and their dog Lala.
In fact, he sees his international roaming as a help to his role, not a hindrance, as it will allow him to promote Pitlochry within starry circles.
How will Alan run theatre without living in Pitlochry?
“Of course it’s great to be back (in Highland Perthshire),” says the Aberfeldy-born actor. “I love coming here, it’s an incredibly bubble away from the the rest of the world where you can really focus on things.
“I used to have a cottage in Perthshire; now my Scottish base is just outside Inverness.
“But I’ve been living between New York [where Alan’s cabaret bar Club Cumming is located] and Scotland for a few years now.
“And my usefulness here is really my experience outside of Scotland,” he continues matter-of-factly.
“I am the Scottish diaspora, you know? I’ve gone out into the world, and I continue to do that, which makes me able to promote and showcase what I hope to do here, which is make great work, and bring international talent to the theatre.”
Former director Elizabeth Newman ‘planted a seed’
For Alan, the “decision” to take on Pitlochry Festival Theatre wasn’t really a decision at all.
“The first time I visited was when I was on the Royal Scotsman train for a Channel 4 programme,” he recalls.
“And that’s when I met Elizabeth (Newman). We were chatting, and she was showing me around. And she said to me: ‘Ever thought of running a building like this?’
“I told her: ‘Not really!’ But I was really shocked by what great facilities were here. It’s really incredible.
“We’ve got three theatre spaces. And we’re the only theatre in Scotland that does everything in-house.
“We have rehearsal room, scenery shops, costume shops… I was just shocked at what a huge, all-rounder operation it was.”
Alan tells me that his conversation with Elizabeth “planted a seed” which grew between then and her resignation.
“When she resigned, I thought: What?! She’s planned this all along!'” he laughs.
‘I don’t just want to do theatre for rich people’ says A-lister Alan
The quality (and sheer square footage) of the space at Pitlochry Festival Theatre is something Alan is really keen to make the most of as artistic director.
“We have this great space, and I just don’t think we’re using it as well as we could,” he says.
One of his key missions, he tells me, is to encourage the local community to “remember it’s their theatre, that they own it”.
“I think maybe some people feel it’s not for them,” Alan explains, chewing thoughtfully on the now-cold vegan sausage.
“I just think something that’s happened over the years is that theatres in general have lost a little of the sense of being a community centre.
“I always use the model of the Tron theatre in Glasgow,” he continues. “When I was a baby actor, that was the most exciting place in Glasgow to go – just for the bar! It just had great energy.
“I want people to think of this building the same way. I mean, why not have your knitting classes here? Or painting? Or Gaelic lessons?
“I don’t just want to do theatre for rich people.”
Look out for the Morris Minor
That said, Alan himself is a rich person. And a famous one.
So while he might slink in on a night bus, he’s been riding in style when he goes through town.
“When I go along the street, everybody wants to talk to me, and everyone’s very encouraging,” he says. “Everyone’s very excited, and it’s lovely.”
“I got this car from a film I did this past year, a little Morris Minor,” he chuckles. “It’s quite good, actually.
“If you’re going to be a noticeable person going down the street, you might as well be in a noticeable car.”
One thing’s for sure – if it’s anything like its new director, Pitlochry Festival Theatre will soon be hard to miss.
Winter Words runs from February 21-23 2025 at Pitlochry Festival Theatre.
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