This week, Paul bumps fists with some cockney bling kings and – rather more importantly – highlights a new documentary about mental health.
NEXT WEEK’S TV
DIAMOND DEALERS AND COCKNEY GEEZERS
Monday, Channel 4, 10pm
This knockabout documentary follows three East End likely lads who run an independent jewellers called – I kid you not – Trotters. Judd, Alex and Kallum, who’ve been best friends since school, sell top flight bling to a bustling parade of mostly working-class customers, and can proudly boast of having more Instagram followers than any other UK jeweller. But that’s not enough: they’re off to NYC to procure items that will truly put them on the map. The banterrific lads are quite likeable – yes, even the one who looks like Jim Davidson – and the programme doesn’t look down its nose at them or their clientele. Nice. Although billed as a one-off, it feels like a pilot for a series.
CRAZY DELICIOUS
Tuesday, Channel 4, 8pm
When is a televised culinary contest not a televised culinary contest? Never, they’re basically all the same. This new one has a bash at being a bit different by basing itself in a studio-based grotto – a whimsical Garden of Eden – packed with foraged food and drink (e.g. a tree that dispenses prosecco). But apart from that, it’s a generic confection in which three skilled amateur cooks must impress an expert panel of ‘Gods’ – Heston Blumenthal among them. This week they’re tasked with creating an inventive strawberry-based dish and a game-changing take on the hot dog. If you enjoy watching people cook, bake, whisk and knead, then this entirely inoffensive show will doubtless provide a modicum of nourishment.
LOSING IT: OUR MENTAL HEALTH EMERGENCY
Tuesday, Channel 4, 10pm
Powerful and timely, Losing It visits the Nottinghamshire Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust to examine Britain’s growing need to care for people struggling with severe clinical depression and anxiety. We meet an eleven-year-old girl with suicidal ideation and a mentally ill woman who recently attempted to kill herself and her family. Meanwhile, exhausted loved ones and concerned staff open up about the complexities of nurturing patients who wish to take their own lives. It’s heartbreaking, but it needs to be in order to highlight the absolutely vital importance of knowing that you’re not alone, of knowing that you can talk about your feelings without fear of judgement. Trained professionals are permanently on hand to help.
INSIDE THE CROWN: SECRETS OF THE ROYALS
Thursday, STV, 9pm
Not all their secrets, surely? An expose on that scale would bring the monarchy to its knees. Instead, this new series – which arrives with impeccable timing – assembles a gang of expertly toadying lickspittles to rake over the officially recorded dramas behind the merry house of Windsor. It begins with a sweeping essay on the history of 20th century Royals who struggled to balance their sovereign duties with matters of the heart. The familiar sagas of Liz and Phil, and Diana Queen of Hearts, duly ensue. Gossipy Royal history is colourful and interesting, of course it is, but we’ve heard it all before. Future generations will look back upon this epoch and wonder what the hell was wrong with us all.
FILM of THE WEEK
HEAT
Friday, Film4, 9pm
This epic crime drama is famed for bringing Robert De Niro and Al Pacino together on screen for the first time, but there’s more to the film than that. Yes, it flirts with cliché, but writer/director Michael Mann ekes every last ounce of stately tension and ennui from an involving story about a veteran cop (Pacino) on the trail of a seasoned career criminal (De Niro).
LAST WEEK’S TV
DOCTOR WHO
Sunday January 12, BBC One
The terminally bland Chris Chibnall’s second series as showrunner began quite well with his Spyfall romp, but episode three – written by Ed Hime – was an embarrassing mess. It wasted Laura Fraser in a thankless supporting role, the actors playing the elderly couple were appalling (“Mah Benni!” has haunted my brain ever since), the alien wigs looked weirdly cheap, the direction was substandard, the script was incompetent. There was no tension, no momentum, no one or nothing to care about. Stuff happened, then it ended. The clumsily tacked-on environmental message – while entirely sound in and of itself – came across as a laughable attempt to add weight to the preceding 48 minutes of impossibly shoddy storytelling. As usual, Jodie Whittaker did her best under the circumstances. I love Doctor Who, we’re joined at the hip, but this was a nadir.
LOUIS THEROUX: SELLING SEX
Sunday January 12, BBC Two
Theroux’s morally conflicted face went into mild overdrive during this report on British women who legally sell sex for a living. He juggled nuggets of inadvertent self-parody – “With a moment to myself, I reflected on the strangeness of what was taking place” – with his usual eloquent compassion. The admirably candid participants were vulnerable victims of abuse who’d chosen this path for reasons far beyond financial pragmatism. Theroux didn’t judge or crassly psychoanalyse them, that’s not his style. Instead he presented yet another sensitive, stigma-challenging character study.
