This week, Paul admires the etchings of a provocative Victorian artist…
NEXT WEEK’S TV
SCANDAL AND BEAUTY: MARK GATISS ON AUBREY BEARDSLEY
Monday, BBC Four, 9pm
“As a deeply pretentious young man, I was obsessed with late Victoriana.” You don’t say, Mark. Now a charmingly unpretentious middle-aged man, the Sherlock co-creator returns to his spiritual TV home for an illuminating sojourn into the scandalous world of a cult 19th century artist. Beardsley’s life was cut short by tuberculosis, but he caused quite a stir during his brief allotment on Earth. You only have to look at his distinctive pen and ink drawings to understand why. A risqué provocateur, Beardsley revelled in upsetting stuffy moral guardians. You won’t be surprised to hear that Gatiss’ vivid profile of this extraordinary gentleman includes an encounter with Stephen Fry, who appears to be affecting some form of moustache.
SECRETS OF THE DRIVING TEST
Thursday, STV, 8:30pm
Maureen from Driving School is the patron saint of bumptious reality television. The makers of this intensely annoying new series are indebted to her pioneering martyrdom. The major difference, of course, is that Maureen wasn’t performing for the cameras. Everyone involved in this show – a fly-on-the-dashboard confection about people learning to drive – is acutely aware of how television works; they’re basically all auditioning for an ITV2 spin-off show. Narrated by Alan Carr doing a bad impression of Alan Carr, it’s worth watching as a textbook example of utterly meaningless television. Plus it only lasts for half an hour. This isn’t the sort of thing I’d normally flag up, dear reader, but these are desperate times.
GORDON, GINO & FRED’S AMERICAN ROAD TRIP
Thursday, STV, 9pm
This is basically as pointless as Secrets of the Driving Test, but at least it’s picturesque. You know the drill: Gordon Ramsay, Gino D’Acampo and First Dates Fred pretend to be best mates while driving around in a car. Liquid TV gold. Gino and Fred are nice enough, but spending time with the utterly charmless Ramsay is a chore to end all chores. I keep praying for them to abandon him during a rest stop. Ramsay is on a manufactured mission to convince his companions that American cuisine isn’t as bad as everyone says, but it’s really just an excuse for scripted Top Gear-style banter. This is undeniably well-made television: snappy, colourful, slick. It’s also witless.
PILGRIMAGE: THE ROAD TO ISTANBUL
Friday, BBC Two, 9pm
It’s episode two, and our celebrity pilgrims have reached Bulgaria. They meet a delightful nun who hasn’t always believed in God (her Damascene moment occurred in Essex, of all places), visit a museum of communist art and scale perilous mountaintops. Scenic comfort viewing for believers and atheists, it’s the sort of mildly diverting fancy we need during Coronavirus lockdown. This unlikely band of pilgrims are pleasant company. That’s a given with the likes of Adrian Chiles and Pauline ‘Mrs Doyle’ McLynn, but even Edwina Currie come across as borderline likeable. A miracle. I draw the line at Dom Joly, though. He’s a tiresome, unfunny oaf, and I pity the gang for having to spend time with him. Still, nice programme.
FILM of THE WEEK
BEST
Wednesday, BBC Four, 9pm
Even if, like me, you have zero interest in football, you will doubtless be engrossed by this even-handed documentary about the prodigiously talented yet self-destructive George Best. The giddy highs of his remarkable life and career are tragically undermined by his descent into alcoholism, but this is no tabloid-esque expose. It’s a sensitive study of a fragile man beset by demons.
LAST WEEK’S TV
THE NEST
Sunday March 22, BBC One
This new Glasgow-based drama from the usually reliable Nicole Taylor (Wild Rose; Three Girls) relied on a coincidence so contrived and unlikely, it was impossible to suspend disbelief. A shame, as Taylor was clearly aiming for a well-intentioned, sympathetic piece about grief and wealth inequality. Solid performances from Martin Compston, Sophie Rundle and especially newcomer Mirren Mack failed to compensate for such unconvincing material.
FRIDAY NIGHT DINNER
Friday March 27, Channel 4
There is only one thing you need to remember to enjoy this sitcom: ignore the fact that the sons enunciate every line like people who know they’re in a sitcom. Once you’ve got over that hurdle, it’s an enjoyable show. And hats off to writer Robert Popper for successfully milking its deliberately restrictive, housebound setting for so long. Friday Night Dinner is inherently likeable.
DUNCANVILLE
Friday March 27, Channel 4
An animated family sitcom co-devised by Amy Poehler (Parks and Recreation) and Mike Scully (The Simpsons, before it dropped off a cliff 20 years ago), Duncanville is as sweet, sharp, daft and funny as you’d expect from a show written by these people. It pokes fun at woke millennials and well-meaning Gen Xers, but never crudely demeans either generation. Keep an eye on this, it’s promising.
