My Old School ‐ Friday, BBC Scotland, 9pm
In 1994, a Canadian by the name of Brandon Lee enrolled as a fifth-year student at Bearsden Academy. A year later, he was exposed as former student Brian MacKinnon, a man in his early thirties. This idiosyncratic documentary unpicks a saga that’s bizarre, funny, sad and unsettling in roughly equal measure. It’s directed by MacKinnon’s former classmate Jono McLeod, who secured an interview with the notorious imposter. However, MacKinnon declined to appear on camera, so his voice is uncannily lip-synced by actor Alan Cumming. That adds another peculiar layer to proceedings. A complex character, MacKinnon comes across as a deluded narcissist who appears to be blind to the ethical transgressions of his subterfuge. You can never go back.
Lionesses: Champions of Europe ‐ Thursday, BBC One, 12:10am
You don’t have to be a football fan to agree that one of the very few uplifting moments of 2022 was when England triumphed at the European Women’s Football Championship tournament. This documentary relives that victory through the eyes of key players such as team captain Leah Williamson and incumbent I’m a Celebrity… winner Jill Scott. This was a major breakthrough moment for women’s football, and female athletes in general. That squad actually inspired people, they briefly took our minds off the awful state of affairs in our benighted country, and you can absolutely guarantee that young athletes from all around Britain will follow in their pioneering stead. Clichés be damned, they’re heroes.
Inside No. 9 ‐ Thursday, BBC Two, 9pm
Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith return for another festive edition of their estimable anthology series. It’s Christmas Eve, and a pompous doctor played by Pemberton is settling down for a night of contemplation and solitude in a village church. His reverie is abruptly interrupted by a couple played by Shearsmith and former Coronation Street actor Shobna Gulati, who have also booked an overnight stay courtesy of the eccentric church warden (Simon Callow giving it, quite wonderfully, some full-on Simon Callow). It may be no match for their unforgettable ‘70s TV pastiche The Devil of Christmas, which is one of my favourite No. 9’s, but it’s still a fun little ghost story involving ancient holy relics and charcoal rubbings.
The Cleaner ‐ Friday, BBC One, 9pm
Tonight’s festive triple-bill of sitcoms on BBC One begins with Greg Davies back in disgruntled action as crime scene cleaner Wicky. It’s Christmas Day, and he’s looking forward to winning a raffle. The prize? A horse. Inevitably, Wicky’s equine hopes and dreams are thwarted by the sudden demands of his tiresome vocation. He’s called to yet another blood-spattered crime scene, this time in an ice cream parlour. The Cleaner is based on a German series, but it’s so perfectly suited to Davies’ daft, lugubrious comic persona and his trademark penchant for absurdly escalating farce, you’d be forgiven for assuming that he devised the whole thing for himself. No wonder he snapped it up.
Motherland ‐ Friday, BBC One, 9:30pm
It’s hardly surprising that Motherland, a big critical darling for BBC Two in the last few years, has finally crossed over to BBC One. That, I suspect, is where it’ll stay from now on. The premise, in case you’re unaware: a group of middle-class London mums deal with every maddening thing their lifestyle entails. Yes, I know, that sounds unbearably smug and bland, but Motherland practically goes out of its way to avoid trite sentiment. This is a dry-witted endeavour, borne of honest semiautobiographical experience. Your estimable writers include Sharon Horgan and Holly Walsh. Simmering Christmas chaos ensues this week, in a full house hosted by the understandably tired and cynical protagonist, Julia (Anna Maxwell Martin).
Two Doors Down ‐ Friday, BBC One, 10pm
A radical break from the usual format, this delightful Christmas special is set, not within the suburban neighbours’ homes, but in a cosy Glasgow coffee shop. Beth, Eric and Christine are doing their Christmas shopping, so decide to take a load off their feet. Most of the regular cast turn up too. Two Doors Down doesn’t usually lean into pathos, it’s not that sort of show, but it’s beautifully handled here. We all know that Christine (the great Elaine C. Smith) is lonely, that’s been a more or less unspoken theme throughout the series. Well, you may find that you have something in your eye as the closing credits roll. As always, the writing and performances ring abundantly true.
A Ghost Story for Christmas: Count Magnus ‐ Friday, BBC Two, 10pm
Mark Gatiss is steeped in horror fiction. He’s a devotee, an aficionado. So why are his Christmas adaptations of M.R. James’ ghost stories always so underwhelming? The sad truth is that Gatiss, for all his evident enthusiasm, doesn’t know how to direct a spooky yarn. Unlike the classic BBC adaptations he grew up on, they’re fatally lacking in pace and atmosphere. They don’t unnerve at all. I take no pleasure in saying this, as I like Gatiss, but his best work can be found elsewhere. This one stars that fine actor Jason Watkins as an overly inquisitive British aristocrat and self-styled scholar who becomes obsessed with the long dead founder of a Swedish dynasty. It amounts to very little.
