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RAB MCNEIL: Why have I kept my hairdryer so long?

Rab has kept his old hairdryer for years. Why?
Rab has kept his old hairdryer for years. Why?

Stuff keeps coming. As fast as I give books away, new ones come.

Earlier this month, I ordered four about my beloved TV series Firefly, and plan to open the packages tomorrow. Ach well, it’s Christmas. Any excuse.

Here’s something funny I’ve had for decades: a hairdryer.

That flabbergasted you! A man in my position with a hairdryer? Yep.

Not used since my late teens

Ain’t used it since my late teens but, even then, it never agreed with me, making my hair even more bouffant.

Mind you, in my youth, bouffant wasn’t the crime it is today. Sometimes, I feel like emigrating to America. Still plenty bouffant there, and nobody titters.

But I found the hairdryer useful for various DIY projects, such as putting silicone round the bath. I read recently that it can be used to dry mould or condensation in damp houses.

You can dry off small items of clothing if you need them in a hurry.

So it’s a useful tool and one that even I can use as efficiently as any qualified tradesman.

Then there’s the cassettes

Other things I keep around the house, even though I should chuck them, include hundreds of music cassettes, none of which I’ve played in yonks.

Somehow I think that handling or looking at them will take  me back to the times when I bought them.

Rab keeps his old music cassettes too.

It doesn’t really. It’s the same with old newspapers and magazines, of which I’ve a large pile, some carrying my first article published in them.

I thought that, one day hence, I’d enjoy looking at them. But it’s hence noo, and I decline to look.

I don’t know why that is. Perhaps it’s because looking back can be discomforting.

There’s a deal of it at this time of year, remembering previous Christmases, perhaps as children or in relationships.

My life is going backwards

My life is backward enough as it is. I suppose DVDs are old technology noo, but I find them less chancy than streaming services.

Recently, I joined one of these that promised oodles of old British comedies. I wanted to watch Are You Being Served? Don’t judge me.

Clips on YouTube and Google searches suggested they had it. But they didn’t. They’d a film but not the TV series. So I cancelled my membership immediately.

DVDs are solid. They’re there physically. Ain’t going away unless I throw them out, which I’ve no intention of doing.

They also remind me of shows or films I might have forgotten. Yay: another step backwards!

They clutter up Wit’s End

Hundreds of them clutter up Wit’s End, ma hoose. I emptied seven box-loads – packed for a move, you might recall, that never happened – back onto the shelves recently and was delighted to rediscover real peaches among them.

At this time of year, I usually watch Ingmar Bergman’s Fanny and Alexander.

One of my favourite films, it’s five hours and 12 minutes long, and I’ve warm memories of watching it – with, I think, two intermissions – in a city arthouse cinema (not usually my sort of place).

It was part of growing up, learning about art, music, literature. Foreign stuff, ken?

And so that DVD will remain, adding its little bit of clutter to the place.

As will my culturally formative Star Trek, Dad’s Army, Norman Wisdom and Up Pompeii DVDs!

Enjoy Christmas in the hoose, readers.

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