I’m not sure when ‘buying the presents’ became my job but from the moment we said ‘I do’ 18 years ago, himself has never had to shop for or wrap another gift.
It should have been cemented in the ‘from this day forward’ part of our vows during our Christmas wedding, a mistake I won’t make at my second wedding.
For Christmas 2022, I have treated myself to a ‘running errands’ friend.
Someone I feel comfortable enough with to sit chatting over a hot chocolate before frantically running round TKMaxx, Waterstones, Matalan and back to TKMaxx because I regretted not buying the festive season’s essential furry jacket that was only £16.
This year, HE can be that friend.
It’s time he learned
It’s time my previously pandered to better half learned how Christmas is done properly.
Time he understood it doesn’t all just magically appear. That last post-dates exist, especially this year. And a considered, thoughtful gift need not take a colossal amount of effort or panic inducing amount of money. And that being 47 years old, he should no longer expect Santa to do everything.
Credit where credit is due, he surprised me and did well. Not one complaint when having to accompany me as I spent a painstaking amount of time choosing the perfect pair of socks.
No objections when making him smell so many perfumes his head hurt. No sighs uttered or eyes rolled over choices of lip balm. Not even a grumble as the debit card wobbled. And he made hulking the bags round look easy. What a champ.
Come Christmas morning, two personality types emerge in our house. The first dishes out presents at break neck speed whilst consuming all their chocolate for breakfast.
Donning a brand new scarf and gloves over their jolly, festive jammies. Firing nerf guns while simultaneously trying to play Just Dance with the dogs. All before 7am.
The second tends to be slightly more considered. Taking it all in. Poised and ready with a tiny screwdriver and packets of AA batteries.
Hovering nearby with a giant black bin bag, ready to catch any tattered wrapping flying past. Straight in the bag and not on the floor, please, we are not barbarians!
Notes carefully written to thank absent, distant relatives for their kindness. Videos and photos taken to capture moments that would otherwise wheech past in the blink of an eye.
We’re the other type
The mister and I are proud parents of type ones. We are, naturally, the type twos.
Having navigated the month long build up to this very moment. We are both delighted and exhausted. Thrilled by the magic kids bring, but aware there is still a meal to prepare and phone calls to be made.
Maybe the adult perk of a cheeky libation will smooth that over.
In comparison to previous years, Christmas 2022 will be a very relaxed affair.
With biggest still in Oz, it will feel strange just being the four of us. Every effort will be made to guarantee it’s just as special ensuring they remember all the movies watched, the hot chocolates made and the fairy lights twinkling.
The night before Christmas
‘Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house
Not a parent was pandering, not even to pouts.
The lounge needed cleaned and hoovered with care.
By two teenagers who clearly didn’t want to be there.
Then what to my astounded eyes should appear
But two cheerful sisters with all cleaning gear.
With our handy shark vacuum so noisy but quick
I knew in a moment, it must be a trick.
More rapid than cleaners, the swiffers came out
And everything was wiped leaving absolutely no doubt.
So astounded we were, as parents we knew
Promises of chocolate and presents would need to come true.
Mad dashing round shops with a leap and a bound.
The panic shared by all other parents round town.
We spoke not a word as we paid then drove home
And checked the gift list with a fine tooth comb.
And collapsed on the couch with a glass of wine poured.
And shared a glance, laughing, grateful we’re never bored.
But we smile and relax as it passes midnight.
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night
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