I am mum to two kiddos, aged 11 and nine. They live in the US with their dad and spend summers here in Dundee with me.
My 11-year-old, Ash, is gender-questioning and queer of some variety, depending on where we land on the gender of the day.
I am bisexual myself, in a straight relationship just now and obviously was with my children’s father as well, but I’ve had queer relationships in between.
My children have seen these relationships, and we have several family members who are in the community – a gay couple, a lesbian couple, a trans uncle, so this has not ever been something strange for my kids.
As they’ve grown and had questions, they’ve come to me.
Ash started their period quite young so they started puberty a bit earlier, and about a year ago they said: ‘I don’t know that I feel like I’m a girl, I think I might be a boy or somewhere in between.’
I said: ‘Cool, you can let me know how you feel day by day’. So that’s where we are now, and most of the time it’s they/them pronouns.
Pride ‘didn’t feel safe’ in the states
Last year we went to Dundee Pride and it was Ash’s first one.
In the US, Pride didn’t feel safe so they’ve never been. I’ve been to Atlanta Pride and there’s a really heavy cop presence, it’s really quite unpredictable.
But last year, we went to both days at Dundee and both kids loved it. There was face painting, we made Lush bath bombs, there was music, drag performance, the Makaton choir performance.
And they had so much exposure not just to other people living their truth but also to different lived experiences.
I work in the charity sector in disability, so seeing the Makaton choir and those experience represented as part of a Pride celebration was really powerful, both for me and for them.
It was also incredibly comfortable. The volunteers were really thoughtful, giving out flags and blow-up microphones. People were really engaged and happy to chat to the kids.
It was absolutely a family space and a space for anybody who showed up to be there.
‘My favourite part was the music’ – Ash, age 11
Ahead of this year’s Dundee Pride event, Ash shared their favourite memories from last year:
Going to my first Pride was amazing. I felt very safe and valid. Everyone there was very supportive and kind.
There were so many good people and it was awesome.
My favourite part was definitely the Pride music they played on the stage because it made me feel a lot safer when I knew that there were other people who understood me and were similar to me.
That first time was amazing and I’m excited to feel safe and comfortable with people like me again this year.
Dundee Pride takes place on June 15-16 2024. Tickets are free and can be booked via the organisation’s website.
