The words “lymphatic drainage” don’t exactly scream serene or sexy, so when I’m invited to try the hottest new treatment offered by a Stonehaven salon, I’m not sure what to expect.
But I am assured that this lymphatic drainage machine, the Body Ballancer, is partly responsible for Hollywood actress Jennifer Aniston’s famously youthful legs.
And if it’s good enough for Jen (and Lady Gaga and Paris Hilton), it’s certainly good enough for me. So I hop in the car, meander up the A90, and head to Bio Wellness in Stonehaven to see what it’s all about.
On arrival I’m met by Bio Wellness owner and former NHS nurse Ruth Strachan, who explains that their new Body Ballancer is a type of ‘pressotherapy’, a non-invasive treatment which uses air to compress and decompress parts of the body.
What are the benefits of lymphatic drainage?
It helps drain excess lymph fluid in the body and move it to the lymph nodes, where it is dealt with by the body’s natural processes.
This helps athletes with recovery and improves performance, says Ruth.
It can also help to reduce swelling and pain, especially for those suffering from conditions like rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia.
And Ruth tells me it can visibly reduce the appearance of cellulite and make skin look smoother over multiple sessions.
“Pressotherapy’s been around for a long time, but it’s one of those treatments that’s been kind of kept for elite sportspeople,” explains Ruth, who is one of only two salon owners in Scotland to offer this treatment at the time of writing.
“I did this treatment on people 20 years ago when I’d just come out of school and was working first as a beauty therapist.
“These types of machines are much more well known in Europe. I had a Spanish lady in the other day who told me her mum and dad have been having pressotherapy for 10 years.
“But we’re just starting to pay much more attention to our wellbeing in the UK, and now we’re seeing people actually seeking out lymphatic drainage and learning about the benefits of stimulating our lymphatic system.
Machine is ‘like a big blood pressure cuff’
Before Ruth opens the door to let me see the Body Ballancer, I have visions of some space-age pod or horrible MRI-type setup.
What I find instead is what looks like my parent’s old printer from our early 2000s ‘computer room’, hooked up to a pair of inflatable trousers.
“It’s like a big blood pressure cuff essentially,” explains Ruth. “But it works all the way up and down the legs.”
Fully clothed in my tight leggings and loose sweatshirt as advised, I’m instructed to get up on the bed, where Ruth buckles me into the trousers, careful to adjust the various straps to my lower body – I find out why later.
They feel like a lifejacket for my legs, and they come up over my waist and middle, but my feet don’t reach the bottom, so I assume really tall folks can easily have this treatment.
Initial pressure ‘like a mum squeeze’
Ruth asks me if I want to use the machine on a different setting.
“If you’re someone who works out a lot and has a lot of muscle soreness, there’s a much deeper setting, which a lot of footballers use.”
I don’t think my weekly game of badminton and running round the garden with my cat qualifies as athlete-level workouts, so I opt for the standard relaxation setting.
“It does a cycle on your tummy to remove any congestion around that area first,” says Ruth before she switches on the machine at the printer-type thing.
“That’s the only bit I stay with people for, because having something compress around the diaphragm can be a bit startling.
“One of the ladies that came in the first week we were trialling it said she was going to get emotional because it’s just like a big hug, like a mum squeeze.”
Double up on pampering with facial
Indeed, the first few minutes of the 45-minute treatment are the most alien, but not at all unpleasant. The top of the ‘trousers’ inflates slowly, gently compressing my middle.
Because it’s lifting underneath my back as well as pressing on the front of my stomach, there’s none of that horrible lurching sensation. I can’t help but think how wonderful this would be for those of us who suffer bad menstrual cramps.
Soon, the cycle around the diaphragm eases off and my breaths are coming long and slow. It’s as if there’s more room for my lungs to inflate already.
At this point, Ruth leaves, though she points out that clients could double up on treatments and schedule a facial for the same time as a Body Ballancer session to maximise their chill-out.
“That’s the ultimate in pampering because you’re getting both ends treated at once,” she smiles.
“Everybody’s short on time now so you want to get as much out of your appointment as you can.”
Being inside the Body Ballancer
After she leaves, I lie back and settle into the rhythm of the Body Ballancer’s regular wheeze.
It is quite a loud machine, but the noise is consistent enough to feel like white noise, and I soon tune it out, focusing on the sensation as it compresses my feet, then my calves and shins, up to my knees, then thighs, then hips.
With a sigh, it releases me, before starting again. It’s tight enough, thanks to Ruth’s adjustments, that I feel a satisfying pressure without feeling squashed.
My job requires me to sit at a desk for long periods, meaning my hamstrings are chronically tight.
And over the remaining 30 minutes, I feel them relaxing as the excess fluid in my legs gets shifted.
Somehow, I manage to stay awake, though I could’ve easily drifted off to the steady lull and rock of the machine.
How I felt after lymphatic drainage in Stonehaven
Afterwards, Ruth advises me to drink plenty of water, avoid caffeine for 24 hours (does she know I’m a journalist?!) and “take it easy”.
“This is a detoxifying treatment, so you might have symptoms of headaches or going to the toilet more often – both waterworks and bowels can be stimulated,” she warns.
“And try to eat clean, don’t go for a takeaway right after,” she laughs. “If you’re doing a detox, you want to maintain it.”
Over the next few days, I do feel a bit lethargic and I lose my appetite slightly, so I do as instructed and try to take it easy. For three days, I’m sluggish, foggy, and a bit emotional but otherwise no worse for wear.
Then around day four, I feel a sudden boost in energy. My thoughts are noticeably clearer, and I look brighter. People notice. It’s not just in my head.
Is lymphatic drainage treatment worth it?
Ruth advises: “If you want to get a real wellness boost or you had lymphoedema, you’d do an initial course where you’d try to fit in two a week over six weeks.
“This is where you’d see, for example, a huge visible reduction in cellulite.
“Alternatively, for a wee boost, you could do it once a month or once every six weeks.”
For me, at £60 per session and an hour away in the car, it’s not affordable or practical to commit to a course at Bio Wellness.
But I’m all for lymphatic drainage treatments becoming the next widespread wellbeing trend.
We can’t all look like Jennifer Aniston, but after 45 minutes of using her favourite machine, I feel like a movie star.
For details about Body Ballancer treatment in Stonehaven, visit the Bio Wellness website.
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