Stuart Gauld should have started P6 at Rowantree Primary School in Dundee this month.
He should have enjoyed a holiday at Craig Tara holiday park in Ayrshire with his family this summer.
He should have been cheering for his favourite football team Dundee FC.
Arguing with his mum Toni Hunt over who is the best player of all time (he said Ronaldo; she said Messi.)
Dancing at home to his favourite music, which included Bruno Mars and Eminem.
Swapping notes in class with his girlfriend Kendall.
Tragically, Stuart died at the Sick Kids hospital in Edinburgh on May 13 after falling unwell with a mystery illness.
He was just nine years old.
Speaking from her home in the Whitfield area of Dundee, his mum Toni told The Courier how his death has impacted family life.
She lives with her partner and Stuart’s step-dad, James McLaughlan, who she shares daughters two-year-old Ocean-Reine and six-month-old Amber-Rose with.
Stuart was rushed to Ninewells after suffering seizures
Two weeks before Stuart died, Toni had taken him to the GP with a sore head and a high temperature.
She was told he had a virus.
However, his condition – although seeming to improve initially – deteriorated significantly three days later.
When he took a seizure in the early hours of the morning, she called for an ambulance.
Stuart was taken to Ninewells Hospital.
He was then transferred to the Sick Kids hospital in Edinburgh.
It was here that his condition worsened and he suffered high temperatures and several seizures.
His blood pressure was also low and continued to drop.
Toni says: “He was sedated, and then he just deteriorated.
“The doctors didn’t know what it was. They gave him an MRI. They said he’d get another one but he ended up too sick to get another one. Things were delayed.
“It was just – I don’t even know how to explain it. It was so quick. He was…”
She trails off, her shock and disbelief still palpable three months on.
“He was just a happy and healthy wee boy.”
Stuart fought hard but died in mum’s arms
Toni recalls the moment she was told that Stuart might not make it.
“When the doctor said, ‘I can potentially see him getting better but I can potentially see him dying’, it was like my head detached itself from my body.
“I was just in shock. I was thinking: ‘How could this happen? He was so healthy and happy? He was eating McDonalds on Wednesday. And then this just happened?'”
Stuart fought hard but died in his mum’s arms.
Toni says: “The day that he passed away, I was on his bed with him, cosied into him, and I pretty much gave him permission to go.
“This will stay with me for the rest of my life because I wish I had just kept saying to fight, but I knew he couldn’t.
“I told him that I would love it if he kept fighting but it’s ok if he goes.
“No one should have to say that to their child.
“And that is when he went. It was like he was holding on, waiting for me to say it was ok.”
Doctors suggested Stuart could have died from Norse – New Onset Refractory Status Epilepticus – which is a rare neurological condition that causes a person to experience seizures without an obvious cause.
But Toni says this is not known for certain, and the family is still awaiting the results of a toxicology test.
The aftermath of Stuart’s death has been nearly unbearable for her.
She says she “wouldn’t be here” if it wasn’t for his two younger siblings.
Stuart, who would have been 10 on August 2, was a kind and caring older brother.
Stuart was close to his little sisters
Toni says: “Ocean-Reine doted on him. Every time he came in from school she would run up to him.
“She could be quite rough with him, but it didn’t bother him.”
Stuart had always wanted a younger sibling.
Toni says: “Before I met my partner James, Stuart was always asking when he would get a sibling.
“I would say, ‘Well I can’t give you a sibling right now because you have to be with someone to have a baby’.
“And then when I met James I fell pregnant and found out it was a girl.
“When we brought her home from the hospital I put her in his arms and he started crying with happiness.
“He was so helpful. He would help me bathe her. Get her nappies for me. He was brilliant.”
What do they say when Ocean-Reine asks after him?
“We have had to sit her down and say to her that he passed on,” Toni says
“We aren’t allowed to say he is sleeping because she could potentially think that he is going to wake up.
“We say that he is in heaven; he is in the sky.”
Stuart was buried in Scotland football tracksuit alongside teddy George
Stuart’s funeral took place at St Ninian’s Scottish Episcopal Church on Longtown Road on June 13.
He was buried in his new red and black Nike Air Jordan shoes and his Scotland football tracksuit, alongside his teddy George.
Several songs were played at the service, including Tell Everybody I’m on my Way by Phil Collins.
It was the song she had played on the video of her 3D pregnancy scan with Stuart nearly a decade beforehand.
The family visit Stuart’s grave at Birkhill Cemetery every day.
His bedroom, which has remained unchanged, is also a place where they can remember him.
Stuart, who wanted to be a YouTuber and a police officer when he grew up, was a big fan of Dundee FC.
The players paid tribute to him with two rounds of applause at a game against Kilmarnock shortly after his death.
He also had a love of kickboxing, cycling, video games – Gorilla Tag was his favourite – and drawing.
Toni says: “I may be biased here, but Stuart was the best wee boy in the whole world.
“He was kind, he was loving, he was a brilliant wee human being.
“He was clever. He would tell me about all the eras we were born in and I had no clue what that was, so he made me feel stupid half the time.
“But I was glad. I knew that he was going to go far in life.”
Toni says her family have been overwhelmed by the support of the community since Stuart’s death.
She says: “My neighbours were amazing.
“When I came home from the hospital, my fridge was full and my house was clean.
“The support from the whole of Dundee has been incredible.”
Quietly, she admits: “I used to hate Dundee. But now I love it.
“As much as people fight and argue and stuff – at times like this they all come together.”
Neighbours, who have bought toys and clothes for the girls, even set up a Go Fund me to raise money for Stuart’s headstone.
It has been a difficult summer for the family as they attempt to navigate a horrifying new normal and process their grief.
Toni has been unable to join her family at the playpark, where she used to take Stuart.
Even a trip to the local shop, where he would buy his favourite drink Prime, brings back painful memories.
Holidays and family days out, unfathomable without him, have been cancelled.
But Toni says they have booked a trip to Benidorm next year.
She says: “It is going to be hard going on holiday because we were meant to go abroad as a family.
“But I still need to give the girls a good life.
“I can’t let them down.”
- If you have been affected by any of the concerns raised in this article, you can access bereavement support at: www.crusescotland.org.uk
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