Dundee minister Nathan performs most special wedding of his career – his daughter’s

Wedding ceremonies are Dundee minister Nathan McConnell’s bread and butter.

But this summer the Downfield Mains church leader was tasked with performing one “very special” ceremony – his eldest daughter, Shanley’s.

“You always assume, as the minister who is also the dad, that you’ll get the chance to do this,” says Iowa-born Nathan, who has lived in Dundee with his wife Courtney and their four daughters since 2015.

“But it was an honour to do it.”

For 26-year-old Dundee University graduate Shanley McMillan, the decision to have her dad perform the ceremony was one she’d made long before meeting her now-husband Joshua, 24.

“There was this comfort from the beginning, I always knew that I would ask my dad to perform the ceremony for myself and my future husband,” she explains.

“I have memories from when I was little girl, of talking with my dad about the beauty of marriage and about commitment. And before my husband, my dad was the most committed man in my life.”

One easy choice in wedding plans maze

Fortunately, Joshua was equally keen for his future father-in-law to conduct the ceremony; so much so that he was the one to ask on the young couple’s behalf.

“We asked him a couple of days after Christmas, just after Joshua had proposed,” recalls Shanley.

“Dad was all quiet for a moment, and then he just smiled.

“There are so many decisions to make in the lead up to a wedding, so to know this was one we felt so peaceful and confident about from the beginning was a real gift.”

‘The aisle was way too short’

And though Shanley had “full trust” in her father’s ability to put together the perfect ceremony, for Nathan the pressure was on.

“You marry lots of different people in my line of work,” Nathan reflects. “But this one was so hard, because she’s so special.

“And when it’s your child, who you’ve loved since the moment she came into the world, you’re like: ‘Oh, I’m also giving her away’.

“I was gaining a son, but also giving away a daughter.”

And when it came to the big day itself, which took place at the Forbes of Kingennie resort in Angus, Nathan admits that “the aisle was way too short”.

“I do remember this moment where I had to give her hand to his hand, and it was just like: ‘Oh, I want to cry’.”

Bride’s comfort in dad’s arms on big day

But despite fighting tears – and a nasty cold – Nathan delivered a ceremony his daughter will cherish in her memory forever.

“Walking down the aisle with my father made the whole wedding experience feel really calm and lovely,” says Shanley. “There’s this grounded-ness to my dad, and I felt it in his arm as we walked down.

“And having him there the whole time with me, not just as I walked up the aisle but as the man who was praying over us too… I just love the fact that he never left my side.

“I knew I had his blessing, not only as my minister but as my dad.”

She recalls a moment just before the ceremony began, when she caught was walking up a staircase and stumbled on the hem of her dress, falling backwards.

“Dad was right behind me, and he caught me,” she smiles. “That moment was so significant for me because it reminded me of all the times my dad was there to catch me as a child.”

‘No question’ over song for shared dance

I ask Nathan about the same moment, in a separate conversation. He doesn’t remember it.

“Did I?” he asks. “I didn’t even notice. I guess because that’s just what dads do, right?”

For him, the most special moment was the father-daughter dance that Shanley asked him to do with her at the evening reception, following her first dance with Joshua.

He says it brought back fond memories of dancing with his little girl as part of a childhood bedtime routine.

“When she was a child we lived in Florida, and in her little room she would play this song, Cinderella by Steve Curtis Chapman,” Nathan recalls. “She would say: ‘Come on, dad – dance!’ and she’d dance on my feet.

“So when she came to me before the wedding and said: ‘Dad, I think Cinderella is the song we need to do’ it wasn’t even a question.”

Nathan: ‘It’s so important to be married’

It was also significant to minister Nathan that his daughter and son-in-law opted for a Christian ceremony, with a full worship section.

“That really stuck out to me, because it’s becoming more and more rare within Scottish society,” he observes.

“It’s so important to be married, and I’m seeing the culture go more and more to: ‘I have to have all these things in place before I marry’ and that’s not how life works.

“So I’m really proud of them for not waiting around forever, and taking the stand to actually get married just six months after getting engaged.”

Mind you, Nathan admits he used “everything in my arsenal” to “scare away” Joshua before giving the couple his blessing.

“All dads should, it’s our job to whittle guys out of the way,” he laughs. “And if he doesn’t go away, then there you go.”

Groom’s faith won over father of the bride

Indeed, Joshua’s commitment to his own faith, as well as to Shanley, was what helped win Nathan over.

“As a Christian minister, you’re hopeful your son-in-law will have a Christian faith, and the character that you want for your daughter,” he says.

“Since she was a little child, we’ve been talking about the kind of person she would marry. And Joshua fits the bill perfectly. Most importantly, he loves Shanley.

“But also, doing the ceremony, the way they looked at each other was a highlight. Shanley was radiant, smiling – everything you’d hope your daughter would be when looking at her future husband.

“And getting the honour of being the first one to say: ‘May I present to you Mr and Mrs Joshua McMillan’ – that was a joy.”