“People are quite original when it comes to their funerals now, and I like that,” says Angela Mackay.
Angela is among a growing number of female undertakers in Scotland, having left the beauty industry to join her parents in their Fife firm.
Younger sister Kirsty Gilfillan has recently joined too, making John Gilfillan Funeral Directors a true family affair.
To illustrate just how original people are, Angela describes a funeral she is arranging where the deceased’s coffin will be transported in a modified Land Rover.
“She didn’t like hearses, so they were adamant no hearses,” Angela, 48, says.
“We get all sorts of requests now. There’s no such thing as a traditional funeral. There are no rules.”
Colour is making its way into funerals more frequenly, with requests for mourners to wear a splash of the deceased’s favourite shade rather than black.
From beauty therapy to dressing the dead
Rangers and Celtic details are also common, says Angela’s father John, 70. The Rangers man, who sometimes conducts as well as arranging funerals, recalls the ceremony of a Celtic fan he knew.
“When he died I did the service and I wore a Celtic tie. I said ‘ladies and gentlemen, this is first and only time I’ve worn a Celtic tie!’ That’s just what you do for people.”
The passion of father and daughter for an industry many see as morbid or depressing shines through as they chat about their work.
This demonstrates why Angela – dressed smartly in her funeral suit with perfect make-up and flawlessly styled hair – would leave her work in a beauty salon for it.
At first she didn’t want to join the Lochgelly company launched nine years ago by her father with her mother, Norma, 66.
“I had no desire to ever work here,” she admits. “I was a beautician, I had my own shop.”
But John and Norma persuaded her. “I knew she had the qualities for it, kindness and personality,” says John. “She was perfect and I knew it would work.”
‘The sergeant major came out in Dad!’
Angela found the first year in such a vastly different workplace tough, as John, who served with the Black Watch for 23 years showed her the ropes.
“It was all brand new,” she says. “I had never even seen anyone that had passed away.”
In the early days she didn’t like being alone in the funeral parlour, where the deceased are kept until their funeral.
But she says of her job: “It’s my absolute life now; my passion.”
She is now manager as John takes a step back in the firm.
John trained her well – using tough love at times.
“The sergeant major came out in him!” laughs Angela. “He was really hard on me but it was to get me to my best ability.
“Now he doesn’t even need to ask me if my funeral went well!”
“She’s teaching me now!” says John.
“People ask me how I can work with my dad,” Angela says.
“It’s because under this roof he’s my boss. He tells me to do something, there’s no backchat – you do it.
“At home, he’s my dad.
“We work in sync with each other and always have done.”
Angela’s skills in the beauty salon have not gone to waste in the funeral parlour.
It’s an undertaker’s job to ensure the deceased looks their best as they are laid to rest. Hair is washed and blow-dried, they are dressed in their chosen clothes and make-up applied.
Norma says: “Angela is perfect at that. She can apply make-up so the family look at the person and don’t see it but blemishes are hidden and they have a bit of colour to their skin.”
From travel agent to the final journey
Skills from her previous work are also coming to the fore for Kirsty. She joined the firm to look after the admin just a few months ago.
Kirsty, 37, worked as a travel agent then in a bank. It was in the latter that she gained the experience which helps in the funeral industry.
“This isn’t something I ever thought I would do,” she says.
“At the bank I did personal appointments, dealing with quite a lot of bereaved people. I helped them with finances or if they had inherited money or had funeral bills to pay.
“That made me realise maybe I could do this job.”
Angela is passing on the knowledge given to her by John. Kirsty is taking to her office work but has no ambition to be a funeral director – yet.
“Hopefully by Christmas she’ll be arranging funerals,” says Angela. “This time next year she may be a funeral director, never say never!”
‘You have to read a room’
One thing that has surprised Kirsty is the fun that she and her colleagues, both family and non-family, have.
Angela says to her: “What did you say to me the other day? ‘I didn’t think I would laugh so much in here.’
But she adds: “You need to have your balance.”
And that includes knowing when bereaved families will appreciate light-hearted conversation and when they won’t.
“You have to read a room,” Angela says. She recalls John entering the parlour as she was with a bereaved client who told him: “John, it’s the first time I’ve laughed since [her loved one] died’.
“You’ve got to make people feel comfortable.
“I don’t just arrange a funeral. I talk about everything. You take an interest in a person, their family, then we dip in and out with funeral arrangements.”
But sometimes light-hearted chat is a definite no-no.
‘A call at 2am – we’re there within the hour’
“If it’s a child, I say don’t have small talk,” says John. “It’s sad beyond belief. You just speak when you have to.”
The job of an undertaker can be 24/7.
“You can get calls at 2am,” says John. “‘My husband, or my father passed away at home.’
“You get a few details and promise to be there within the hour.”
And they will be up and dressed formally, collar and tie, and there as promised.
John became a funeral director following the death of Norma’s brother Hugh in an accident in 1992.
“I was coming out of the army and like most soldiers worrying about what’s going to be the next step,” he says.
Life after the army
John was with the Black Watch from the ages of 17 to 40, attaining the rank of Sergeant Major.
“I thought about the police, prisons, security, all these related jobs,” he says.
But when Hugh died he saw how arrangements were handled and a seed was planted.
He enquired at the Lochgelly branch of Coop Funeralcare and says: “By great coincidence someone had left and there was a vacancy.
“I took to it like a duck to water.
“I went from driver, to funeral director to manager within three years.”
Then in May 2015 he went into business for himself, having spotted the perfect premises in Lochgelly.
Women making their mark on funeral industry
In December 2020 John was awarded the British Empire Medal for his services to the bereaved and Fife communities.
And he is pleased that his daughters are continuing his good work.
“I’m very proud of my daughters. They both have the character to do this.
“I’m sure once I’m gone they’ll drive the business on even further.”
And Angela is proud to be flying the flag for women in the once male-dominated business.
“There are so many more women now. They are very glamorous women as well.
“There are three or four women funeral directors [in Fife] now and we all have our own quirky style.
“Gone are the days of a bland funeral director.”
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