Does it still count as a “shotgun wedding” if you’ve been together for 26 years?
Dundee restauranteurs Ian Murdo Macleod and Tommy Kluethong, who run popular waterfront spot Rama Thai, met in 1998 after a night at CC Blooms nightclub in Edinburgh.
Tommy, who hails from Non Pho in Thailand, was helping his friend – who had over-indulged – up the road when a good Samaritan offered to help him carry his pal.
That helpful hand belonged to Ian, who had moved to Edinburgh from his hometown of Stornoway, and the rest was history.
Then a quarter of a century, a “midlife crisis” career switch from council work to cuisine, two restaurants (first the Chiang Mai in Monifieth and now Rama Thai in Dundee) and two 60th birthday parties later, the couple decided it was time to make it official.
“We both turned 60 this year, and I did a surprise proposal at my birthday party in June,” smiles Ian, when we meet in the couple’s restaurant.
“I think Tommy’s still shocked.”
Just three months later, on September 30 2024, the couple tied the knot at V&A Dundee.
“A shotgun wedding!” Ian laughs.
Wedding was ‘not a political statement’
It may seem hasty to plan a wedding in just three months, but the couple dropped many of the usual frills of wedding planning.
They had no official photographer, and due to “guest demand” they even catered their own reception at City Quay.
“All of our guests wanted Thai food,” Ian shrugs.
For he and Tommy, the decision to finally get married was more about security than anything else.
“It’s the legal bit that was the good thing about it really,” Ian explains. “We’re both a certain age, and so getting married just gives us both a sense of security.
“It wasn’t a political statement we were making about having a gay marriage, and it’s not about disrespecting the sanctity of Christian or any other kind of marriage,” he continues.
“It was just about union and commitment.”
But the couple did allow themselves one big indulgence when it came to their nuptials – the venue.
Relationship with V&A architect lodged building’s place in Ian’s heart
Having taken over Rama Thai in February 2018 (Ian as front of house, Tommy in the kitchen) the pair watched Kengo Kuma’s V&A Dundee come into existence from their workplace’s windows.
And both the building and its architect built themselves a special place in Ian’s heart.
“I’m an architecture geek,” admits Ian. “The architect Kengo Kuma was coming in here for his dinner as we were watching it being built.
“The last time he came in for his dinner, he gave us two of his own tickets to the opening. We still have them.
“The V&A has just really been something for us, having such an iconic building right next to you is amazing. And I love it.”
So when they were deciding where to tie the knot, the couple didn’t have to look further than right across the road.
What they didn’t realise, when they rented out the V&A’s Tatha bar for an hour and a half, was that they would be the first ever couple to have their wedding ceremony in the museum building.
“It wasn’t until we were there on the day that they told us it was the first wedding in the V&A,” Ian recalls. “They’ve had receptions there before, but never ceremonies.
“That made the day even more special.”
First ever ceremony in V&A was ‘just joy’
The intimate ceremony was set up for around 40 people, but the pair ended up with about 70 loved ones in tow after starting out proceedings at the restaurant for “prosecco and sausage rolls from Scott Brothers“.
They were married by celebrant Darren Handy as the sun was setting over the Tay, with matching tartan kilts, Ian in his signature green glasses and Tommy rocking his shock of blue hair.
“This was the first wedding ceremony ever to be held at Tatha at V&A Dundee,” confirms event co-ordinator Alexis Wilkins.
“After the museum had closed for the day we changed the café space into a very special wedding ceremony location.
“Guests were seated in Tatha looking on to the River Tay and the Discovery, with the sun setting in the background as they celebrated with Ian and Tommy.
“It was a really beautiful evening, and a very special occasion for us all to be a part of.”
On hearing of the wedding, Mr Kuma emailed the couple to send them his regards, saying: “Congratulations on your marriage.
“I’m very impressed to know that the building is loved and used for such a beautiful event.”
For the couple, the day was “just joy”.
“We had all our friends and family, and all the grand nieces and nephews. The whole day was just joy,” beams Ian.
“We’re very close with my family and it was just a lovely day, full of love, energy and joy.”
Couple overwhelmed by online response
And the couple were overwhelmed with the online response to their wedding.
They were inundated with messages from loyal customers and fellow Dundee business owners when they posted news of their marriage on Rama Thai’s Facebook page.
“We’ve had 60,000 reaches on the post and hundreds of messages to the business page,” smiles Ian. “All positive. Which is just so nice, when there’s so much negative stuff online.”
After a week off for whirlwind honeymoon in Toronto, Tommy and Ian are back hard at work.
“The restaurant is full on,” admits Ian.
“We’re always here!” adds Tommy.
Thai wedding to follow – elephants and all
But they’re looking forward to more celebrations early next year, when they will have a much more elaborate wedding in Thailand with Tommy’s family.
“Ian wanted to make sure we did the Thai tradition and celebrated in Thai culture,” Tommy explains.
“So in January we’ll be having a ‘little’ party over there,” Ian adds wryly.
“A couple of elephants, a band, a stage… it’s a small village, so everyone will come. It’s our second home.”
Tommy tells me that in his hometown, his husband is very popular.
“Everybody knows ‘Mr Ian’,” he laughs. “The whole school comes to see ‘Mr Ian’.”
And that because it’s a farming village, the party starts early – with the music on and drinks poured by 6am.
“The music will be booming, the whisky will be flowing,” Ian laughs. “At parties, someone comes with a big stack of speakers, so big the windows rattle.
“In Thailand, there’s only two volumes – off, or maximum.”
What’s the secret to 26-year relationship?
But regardless of their weddings – small and intimate, or village-wide celebrations – Tommy and Ian have already got 20-odd years of a relationship behind them.
So what’s their secret to a love that’s crossed cultures and countries, and spanned all these years?
“Tolerance,” laughs Ian, before becoming serious. “We allow each other space. And we have mutual respect.
“We’re both really close with our friends and our families, too. Family is really important to us both.”
Tommy takes a moment before answering, then says: “We don’t have any secrets, and we learn each other every day.”
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