I had festive afternoon tea with Duncan and Judy Murray at the Cromlix – here’s what happened

I’ve had lunch with Duncan Murray before.

Well, it was his lunch break, not mine.

We were chatting about all things Dunblane (and about his pesky, talented tennis brothers, of course) for a tell-all interview with The Courier that was published last month.

A lot of our readers seemed to enjoy it.

So, I thought I’d head along to see Duncan in action, appearing with Judy Murray at a special festive afternoon tea earlier this week, hosted at the Cromlix hotel.

Wait – who is Duncan Murray?

If you’re confused (or if you think there actually is a hapless third Murray brother), ‘Duncan’ is the invention of Scottish comedian Chris Forbes, who you might recognise from BBC Scotland TV comedy Scot Squad.

Judy Murray got in on the joke in 2019, and the rest was history – the pair have now performed live together at the Edinburgh Fringe and Glasgow’s King’s Theatre. But the Cromlix event was billed as a more intimate affair.

Though Chris is currently starring in the Macrobert pantomime, Snow White, nothing was going to get in the way of Duncan taking centre stage at Andy’s hotel alongside his beloved mum.

I was excited – and, dare I say, slightly nervous – to find out what would happen. Here’s the low-down.

Cromlix all dressed up for Christmas

I’ve never been to the Cromlix (near Kinbuck) before, but I’ve heard great things from colleagues and friends, both in terms of the ambience and the food.

I’m certainly not disappointed when I arrive. The furnishings and decoration are beautiful (you nailed it, Kim), and the place is all dressed up for Christmas, with multiple decorated trees outside and in.

The roaring fire in the lobby is welcoming, particularly on a chilly early-December day, and the hotel’s staff are lovely from the word go.

There’s a celebratory, party-like buzz about the place as guests pile in for Duncan and Judy’s afternoon tea, greeted with a glass of fizz.

The hotel’s restaurant would normally be open for lunch, but the dining room has been closed for the event and every seat is filled.

Sporting a striking red dress, Judy Murray welcomes us all. Duncan is running late – as usual, according to Judy.

So, while we wait, we eat.

Clowndoctors, croissants and cakes

I’m seated opposite Joanne Brown, head of development for Scottish charity Hearts and Minds, which the afternoon tea is raising funds for.

Hearts and Minds helps to bring professional performers using therapeutic clowning techniques to hospitals, to benefit children and people with dementia.

They’re known as Clowndoctors, which is why there’s a wearable red nose for every guest laid out on the tables at the Cromlix. All the staff are wearing them, too.

Joanne tells me a little about the charity’s history, and about how therapeutic clowning is used worldwide, which I find absolutely fascinating.

Meanwhile, an elevated afternoon tea is being served. There’s not a dry sandwich in sight, I’m pleased to report, but croissant bites stuffed with beef bourguignon, ‘lox’ made using only carrot, and a tapioca cheese croquette taco, among other inventive savoury canapes.

The tiny scones and sweet treats – cakes slathered with chocolate and cream and figs – are plentiful and delicious.

But the pièce de résistance is a small-yet-beautifully-formed, obviously handmade gingerbread house, with sugar glass windows and hand-piped icing decoration.

All of this is washed down with lashings of tea or coffee, with the option to order a glass of wine or a cocktail.

Everything tastes fantastic and, with eyes far bigger than my stomach, I end up full to the brim.

Duncan’s dramatic entrance

A good time, then, for me to sit back and listen to Duncan and Judy Murray while I digest.

Duncan makes a dramatic entrance, marching through the restaurant wearing a roast turkey costume. (“You said come dressed as Christmas dinner,” he reminds Judy.)

The pair answer questions submitted by the audience on topics ranging from Andy Murray‘s golfing prowess to Judy Murray’s golfing prowess.

Kidding – but there are a lot of questions about golf. And tennis, too, you’ll be surprised to hear.

But there are a few Duncan can answer, including about his dream plans for a Dunblane playcentre called Duncan’s Dome, and a Duncan mural – “maybe on the wall here?” he suggests, pointing out of a Cromlix window.

I find myself laughing a lot, and not just politely because I’m sitting right in front of the performers.

The improvisation and quick wit from both Chris Forbes and Judy Murray is impressive, and it’s obvious they work well together as a comedy duo.

Judy shares some fun Murray family anecdotes, too.

My fellow audience members are clearly delighted with the one-on-one atmosphere the afternoon tea event provides.

It really does feel like we’re getting some special insight into a legendary Scottish family many people feel an affinity to.

Even if the Murray brother who turned up is a bit of a turkey.

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