The first thing I notice about Dunfermline is the roundabouts.
My goodness, there are a lot of them.
Round and round I go as I attempt to enter the Fife city.
Eventually, after missing another turn-off and losing hope of ever finding the elusive car park I optimistically entered into Google Maps before leaving Dundee that morning, I abandon my car at the Big Tesco on the edge of the town.
It might be my first time visiting Dunfermline, but as I survey the rain ricocheting off my favourite supermarket on a wide expanse of tarmac, I feel right at home.
I am here because Chat GPT – an AI bot/my life coach – has drafted a five-hour itinerary for me to explore the city.
Eager to see what it has to offer, and whether or not the chatbot has actually made a decent plan for me, I grab my umbrella and get going.
What did Chat GPT tell me to do in Dunfermline in the morning?
For the morning, Chat GPT has suggested that I:
- 11am: “Start your day at Dunfermline Abbey & Palace, a stunning historic site where Scottish kings, including Robert the Bruce, are buried.”
- 12pm: “Head to Pittencrieff Park, a beautiful green space known for its walking trails, gardens, and peacocks.”
- 12.45pm: “Enjoy lunch at Fire Station Creative, a trendy café inside a converted fire station with great coffee, cakes, and light meals.”
Dunfermline Abbey and Palace – the burial place of Robert the Bruce and probably the city’s best-known landmark – seems like a fitting place to begin my day. Bring on the history!
I take a look around the New Abbey Church first. Built in 1821, it is a stunning building – postcard perfect – and I can see why it is also a popular wedding venue.
Then I head into the attached Nave, erected in 1147. It is eerily beautiful, with grand Romanesque columns and tall stained glass windows.
Less beautiful is the paper mache reconstruction of a seemingly disfigured Robert the Bruce’s head, which might just haunt me forevermore.
Next, I meander through the palace ruins and contemplate how they lived without central heating back then. The mind boggles.
Although maybe the monks in the kitchen – where three (!!) large fires were used to prepare food – might have preferred air con.
Conveniently, Pittencreiff Park – the next item on my agenda – is situated across the road.
Known as “The Glen” to locals, it is an idyllic spot, with winding woodland pathways, ornate Victorian lamp posts, waterfalls and treehouses.
Grey squirrels dart up and down trees, while peacocks, either puffing up their chests or fighting over food thrown by children, roam freely.
There’s also a lovely botanical garden in a greenhouse where I stand and enjoy the blast of warmth from a heater while pretending to admire some cacti.
For lunch, I head to the “trendy” Fire Station Creative, a converted fire station dating back to the 1930s.
As a cafe and art gallery with portrait-adorned walls – I’m seated on a squishy leather sofa next to a VERY naked man – it reminds me of the Dundee Centre of Contemporary Arts (DCA).
I order soup of the day (carrot, coconut and coriander) and a tuna mayo sandwich, which is delicious.
Then I explore the venue, buzzing with couples, students, pensioners and waitstaff, and discover the original fire poles in a backroom. They are cordoned off, perhaps for the best.
What did Chat GPT tell me to do in Dunfermline in the afternoon?
For the afternoon, Chat GPT suggests that I:
- 1:45pm: “After lunch, walk to the Andrew Carnegie Birthplace Museum to learn about the life of Dunfermline’s most famous son, the industrialist and philanthropist Andrew Carnegie.”
- 2:30pm: “Take some time to wander through Dunfermline’s town centre. Visit Little Shop of Heroes or explore independent shops along the High Street.”
- 3:30pm: “Before wrapping up, grab a coffee and cake at Peachy Keen, a charming plant-based café with delicious treats, or Rumbledethumps, a cosy spot with a great selection of home-baked goods.”
Looking up the Andrew Carnegie Birthplace Museum (he was a Dunfermline-born industrialist from the 19th Century) on Google Maps as I leave the cafe, I am notified that the attraction is closed during winter. Gah.
So of course, I ask Chat GPT what I should do instead.
It quickly comes back with a few suggestions, including Abbot House Heritage Centre and the Carnegie Library and Gallery.
I opt for the former, which is known locally as the “pink house”.
The recently renovated A-listed building is the oldest house in Dunfermline, dating back to at least the 16th century.
I enjoy a browse in its gift shop and book shop – there’s also a cafe – before walking through the pretty walled garden.
Onwards then, this time to “explore independent shops on the high street”.
Having previously heard locals lament the multitude of empty units and charity shops in the city centre, I don’t have high hopes.
But – although their grumbles might be true – the cobbled high street is picturesque and busy.
A sucker for overpriced dark chocolate, I make a beeline for a cheesemonger and larder named Must Be Crackers.
After hearing my companion DC Thomson photographer Steve Brown rave about the Scottish wild berries which boast many benefits (namely turning his granola purple) I buy some.
It turns out these are £8.25, which I definitely can’t claim on expenses. Thanks Steve.
It’s time to end my day with a coffee. The “charming plant-based cafe” Peachy Keen sounds right up my street so I Google that first, but apparently Chat GPT was glitching because no such place exists. Devastating.
It gets worse when I search Rumbledethumps (great name) which it turns out is in Cupar – 30 miles away.
Instead, I take myself back to Abbot House, where Prost Cafe is located in what is said to be the oldest room of the building on the ground floor.
I treat myself to an oat milk latte and admire my cosy, cave-like surroundings.
The verdict
Did Chat GPT get a few things wrong, lead me down false trails and offer empty promises of museums and charming plant-based treats? Yes.
Did I have a fun day, enjoy visiting a range of attractions and shops and being told what to do and when to do it while avoiding a bout of decision paralysis? Also yes.
Overall, Chat GPT’s plan was varied and interesting, spanning nature, history, art and culture.
It was also extremely affordable – I only had to fork out for food and drink.
And Dunfermline! I really enjoyed my visit to the Fife city and was pleasantly surprised by the vibrant atmosphere, beautiful architecture and cute independent shops.
I would definitely come back in summer.
But I’ll get the bus next time.
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