When Howey Ejegi arrived in Dundee 16 years ago, he found himself away from home and suddenly confronted with life-changing news.
“I found out at age 19 that I was going to be a father,” says the Broughty Ferry-based influencer, who Dundonians may recognise as the face of the Overgate.
The influencer is one of the stars of the city shopping centre the Overgate’s #DYNAMICDUNDEE spring 2025 marketing campaign.
“My son Jai is 15 now, time flies. But at the time, when I learned I was expecting a child, it wasn’t easy.
“As a Nigerian, Christian man, there’s an expectation of what the trajectory of your life should be: get an education, get married, get your life together before starting a family,” he explains.
“At that time, I was thinking: What will my parents say? I have a whole life ahead of me, all these ambition I want to fulfil!”
Howey wasn’t always all smiles
Now, to his 100K followers across Instagram and TikTok, lifestyle content creator Howey is the picture of smiling success at 35.
But he reveals he “really struggled” with his mental health during that time, and has faced challenges since as a black single father living and working in Dundee.
As well as his impending fatherhood, he found the cold weather and foreign food of the city difficult to get used to, and was generally overwhelmed.
And it took him a long time to get over the stigma attached to mental health issues, which he feels is particularly potent among black men in the city.
“There is that major taboo associated with black men being able to speak to anybody,” he explains.
“Not just publicly speaking about it, but even to share your experiences with your friend.
“You’re expected to be strong and independent, and not show weakness.”
What do Dundee’s black patients need?
One thing Howey observes is that black communities in Dundee and wider Tayside may be suffering from a possible lack of representation within health services.
“There seems to be a lack of representation of black mental health experts locally, which could be limiting when black people are trying to share or explain their experience,” he explains.
“There’s cultural difference which might make it harder to relate or be understood. Which is why we need more visible, black mental health advocates in the area.”
Now, as he teams up with the likes of TV’s Gail Porter and ex-footballer Zander Murray for a new NHS campaign, Howey reveals five things that have helped him overcome those darker moments.
1. Talk to the people you love
“I wasn’t ready to be a dad, and I was so scared my family would be disappointed in me,” reflects proud parent Howey.
“But once I started speaking to them about how I was feeling, it helped me come to terms with it.
“Luckily, I’ve got a supportive mum and dad, and siblings too. I realised, just by speaking with them, that the people around you do love you and care about you.
“Now, with my son Jai, it’s all about communication. He knows nothing is off-limits when we have a conversation.
“We all could learn to be more open-minded and try not to judge.”
2. Find a community (or create one)
“For me, I am a Christian and I go to church every week,” Howey smiles.
“It’s great to connect with people who have the same cultural background as you if you’re feeling alone.
“If that’s not for you, another thing I like to do is cook a meal for my friends.
“I bring everyone around, with some delicious food, and we just chat.
“And when there are 7 or 8 people together, conversations about struggles or emotions can come up more easily. One person mentions some difficulty at work, then another might bring up something else that is bothering them,
“It’s simple, everyone’s eating, it feels easy. But before you know it, people are saying ‘I am struggling’ or ‘my mental health hasn’t been great’ and sharing that burden.
“Sometimes all you have to do is bring people together.”
3. Switch off from work – and your phone
“Luckily for me, I am a lifestyle influencer, so a lot of my work is showing my followers my day-to-day life,” says Howey.
“And being a single dad, my son appears in quite a few of my videos, and helps me behind the scenes with the camera and things.
“I love that, because it lets me reach out to other dads who might be in a similar situation to us.
“But still, we make time to switch things off and do fun things off-camera. Say for instance, on a Saturday afternoon, he loves gaming so we’ll play some games.
“Or if the weather is nice, he’ll say to me: ‘Oh dad, let’s go for a walk up Dundee Law, or let’s go for a drive.’
“It’s important to do all those things he loves to do, and it helps me too.”
4. Get outside in sunny Dundee
“It sounds simple, but if I’m stressed, I’m going to go for a walk,” laughs Howey. “I love that Dundee is the sunniest city in Scotland, and I definitely make the most of that.
“I live near the beach in Broughty Ferry, I just moved here last August, so I love walking along there – the sound of the waves and the blue skies.
“I used to live near the Law, and during the pandemic I picked up the habit of going foraging. In late summer, I love going there to pick wild fruits and plants, and cook with them.
“It’s good to immerse yourself in nature.”
5. Dress to express
“I love dressing up, OK?” says Howey, who was among sharply put-together attendees at the V&A Dundee’s Icon’s of Style launch earlier this month.
“I feel like in Scotland, we don’t get a lot of days where the weather is great, so when it’s rainy or cloudy, I look in my wardrobe and I pull out something really bright!
“It’s like sunshine energy, and I do feel that what I wear on a daily basis really can help lift my mood and manage my mental health.
“Plus I have a lot of traditional Nigerian dress that I wear to church. Fashion plays a major role in how I express myself, and expressing yourself is key!”
Howey Ejegi is proud to be part of the Scottish Government’s Mind To Mind campaign .
Conversation