Catherine Devaney had to invoke decluttering queen Marie Kondo to get her house shipshape and ready to welcome guests, while also making some summer salads.
If you’ve found this summer a little more challenging than usual, let’s just say you’re not alone. The combination of an absurdly long school break, almost eight weeks at the last check, a heatwave and holiday attractions that are busier than ever before due to the absence of the package holiday escape valve, has proved a testing mix.
Apparently the kind of holiday that was normal when I was young – cold beaches, picnics in the car boot and National Trust days out (without the scones because the café was too expensive) – are now rebranded as “staycations”, with a hashtag.
House swapping
All of this new passion for Great British holidaying, combined with our lack of organisation, conspired to make it impossible to secure even a leaky caravan for less than it would cost to dine out for the rest of the year on oysters and champagne.
And so we resorted to “house swapping”. Not a new concept, house swapping has been given a fresh lease of life by some slick websites that allow you to swap your own home for a range of truly stunning properties in a raft of exotic locations.
Some of the houses even have, wait for it, their own swimming pool! And it’s free. Really, what’s not to love about that?
Well, it seemed even the home swap pickings were slim by the time we got organised. Apparently we were not the first to wake up to this holiday option.
Our choices boiled down to a week near Perth (lovely, we quickly pressed accept), a week in the Wirral (never been and weren’t sure exactly where it is but looked lovely, we pressed accept) or a flat in central Glasgow (not ideal for the dog, we pressed “politely decline”).
Sadly most of the swanky glass-fronted luxury pads with pools are in far-flung destinations outwith the bounds of current legal travel – and I don’t mean South Lanarkshire.
And so we resorted to “house swapping”. Not a new concept, house swapping has been given a fresh lease of life by some slick websites that allow you to swap your own home for a range of truly stunning properties in a raft of exotic locations.
And lest you get carried away, remember the old adage that there’s no such thing as a free lunch (or timeshare).
Perhaps if you live in a highly organised state of normal, in a house where the linen cupboard is filled with organised sets and spare mattress protectors for each bed, where looking under the sofa isn’t classed as a high risk activity, then you might just have to do an extra tidy before you go and leave instructions on how to feed the cat.
If, on the other hand, you live in a house where things are prone to break if not tweaked in just the right way, where taps leak as soon as the watchful beady eye is turned away and where the radiator clicks inexplicably through the night unless a particular book is shoved down the back of it, it isn’t quite as easy.
Frying pans
House swapping, for me, involved weeks of painstaking cupboard clearing and decluttering, the invocation of Marie Kondo, scheduling plumbers, finding new batteries for the remote control, hiding unattractive but important things like bank statements and spending the cost of a package holiday in Majorca on new bed linen.
Not to mention the new frying pans – which, much to my chagrin, appear not to have been used.
I was exhausted two weeks before we left. The kids were traumatised because their toys kept disappearing. My husband didn’t understand why I’d moved everything around.
“Do you really think you need to do that?” he kept asking, in those endless weeks before our “holiday”. He was met with a steely, Calvinist stare.
“How can you possibly expect me to enjoy my holiday if I haven’t cleaned out the cutlery drawer?” I muttered darkly, before hauling out the entire contents of yet another kitchen cabinet.
So before you rush to sign up for a free holiday I urge you, seriously, to take a hard look at your own kitchen cupboards.
So before you rush to sign up for a free holiday I urge you, seriously, to take a hard look at your own kitchen cupboards.
The plus side – and there is one, believe me – is we have returned to a house that is almost unrecognisable. There is no stuff, anywhere. All of what might politely be described as our personal effects were boxed up and shoved into the back of cupboards before we left, where they will never again see the light of day if I have anything to do with it.
I’m sure no one will miss them. But the dangerous part, the bit that fills me with a rather cold dread, is that we have soared so high that the inevitable fall will be spectacular.
A realistic forecast would give us approximately three weeks before we plummet, I lose my minimalist cool and we all start tripping over a pile of shoes in the hallway again. Plus ca change, as they say.
Head over heels
For the moment, however, I am head over heels in love with my own kitchen once again.
In its new uncluttered state I can’t stop opening the larder door, admiring the pristine shelves and the categorised shelves of tins, all neatly facing the same way.
If I never have to see another panini again it will be too soon.
I catch myself standing at the kitchen island, stroking the worktop, sighing like a teenager in the first flush. The sheer bliss of emptying a dishwasher and knowing exactly where each item goes is surely one of life’s overlooked pleasures – well, until I remembered I’d forgotten where I’d put the mugs.
Returning home, battle weary, I’m absolutely ravenous for vitamin C. Perhaps all the de-cluttering has triggered an urge to eat more cleanly, or more likely it’s all the bread/chips/pasta that seems to form the staple diet of British staycationing with kids.
If I never have to see another panini again it will be too soon. So here are three ideas for summer salads, filling enough to be a meal in themselves, and also perfect for portioning up for some end of holiday picnicking.
Taste as you go
My rule of thumb with salads is forget exact measurements. Add more of your favourite ingredients and ease up on those you’re less keen on. Salad dressings should be an easy shake, no exact pouring required.
Taste as you go, adjust with a little extra olive oil, lemon or a tad more salt or honey as needed. Most nuts are interchangeable, so use what you have in the cupboard, but toasting them is a must.
Limes and lemons are also interchangeable, as are different vinegars. Don’t have sherry vinegar, try balsamic. Don’t have wholegrain mustard, try a little Dijon. Salads and the dressingof them is the ultimate in mix and match.
First up, roasted butternut squash, chickpea and feta salad. Start by peeling and dicing one squash into cubes.
Chop two cloves of garlic and half a red chilli (de-seeded), then toss through the squash with a good drizzle of olive oil.
Roast everything in a baking tray in a hot oven (200C fan/220C/425F/gas mark 7) for 20-25 minutes until golden.
Allow to cool then toss in a bowl with one tin of drained chickpeas and some crumbled feta.
Toast a handful of pumpkin seeds under the grill and scatter over the salad.
Dress with a quick concoction of olive oil (around six tablespoons, but don’t worry about exact measurements – glugs are fine), the zest and juice of half an orange, a dash of sherry vinegar and pinch of sea salt. Whisk to emulsify then pour over the salad.
For a quick twist, sprinkle the squash with smoked paprika before you roast it. Simple and completely delicious, try serving with hummus and warm pitta breads for a quick summer supper.
Next, it’s hard to beat the crunch of fresh green beans, combined with lime, summery cucumber and fragrant mint. The addition of sweet pomegranate seeds and toasted almond finishes off this light yet hearty summer dish.
Simply blanch the beans for two minutes in a pot of boiling water, then drain and refresh under cold running water.
Peel and dice the cucumber and toss with the beans, adding a handful of finely chopped mint, the zest and juice of one lime, some pomegranate seeds and crushed toasted almonds.
Finish with a good drizzle of olive oil and a pinch of salt. For a more substantial meal, add some grilled halloumi or barbecued prawns.
Summer slaw
Last, a summer slaw is an easy addition to any meal. Simple to prep, it’s a quick win and so much more delightful than any of the pre-made options.
Why not make a big batch and keep it in the fridge to add to weekday lunches? Shred half a red cabbage, three grated carrots – two will do if they are enormous.
Mix with one grated apple and two finely chopped spring onions, a handful of chopped fresh coriander, some grated ginger – I used a 5cm piece – and the zest and juice of one lime or lemon.
Mix six tablespoons of Greek yoghurt, one teaspoon of wholegrain mustard, half a tablespoon of honey and a good pinch of salt.
Toss everything together. It’s a match made in house swap heaven for veggie burgers or barbecued chicken, or even just on its own piled into a pitta bread with some salad leaves.