I’m normally a good sailor – I once took a ferry trip in Greece on which nearly everyone threw up except me.
But I can tell my sea legs are in for a test onboard the Even Less.
Yes, the fishing boat is small; it bobs up and down even in the calm of Stonehaven harbour.
More pertinently, however, seconds after stepping aboard I make the rash decision to eat a yum yum.
In my defense, the yum yum is offered to me by Ellen Renouf, who along with her husband Robert run Stonehaven Sea Salt, a new business that turns coastal sea water into high-grade salt.
Their salt is the kind favoured by top chefs around the country – Ellan and Robert sell it for just under £6 for a small 75g box and have a job keeping up with demand
The yum yum, on the other hand, is a gooey, sticky mess of sugar and icing, and hardly the first thing you’d choose to eat before sailing.
But I can’t help myself. I love a yum yum. Surely it’ll be fine.
Before anyone can say “hubris”, I wolf it down.
How Stonehaven Sea Salt started
I’m here to speak to Ellen and Robert about the salt business, which the couple – chemical engineers in the oil and gas industry – started two months ago.
The company already sells the salt into a number of independent retailers across the north-east as well as online, and is beginning to make a name for itself.
It’s a unique operation for the north-east, so to see how the sea water used to make the salt is collected, I am invited along for Ellen and Robert’s latest salt run.
Photographer Kath is also here to record the process. Sensibly, she does not eat a yum yum.
A beautiful day to collect Stonehaven sea salt
The boat clears the harbour and the water is calm. It’s a beautifully sunny day and on shore people dot the beach.
With husband Robert left back on the pier to look after the couple’s two children, Ellen explains how Stonehaven Sea Salt started.
Ellen is from Durham and Robert from Fife, but they’ve lived in Stonehaven for 16 years. The seaside town was the perfect place to launch an artisanal salt company.
Well, almost perfect. The couple’s original idea was to simply siphon water from the shore, but environmental health had other ideas. Far better to clear the coast and source the water from the open sea.
Luckily, the couple knew Wes and Maria Lewis, the owners of the Stonehaven pier food truck Seafood Bothy.
Wes goes out most days to catch fresh mackerel, crab and lobster for the bothy. So every few weeks Robert or Ellen tags along to fill up their blue tanks with 200-litres of seawater.
As 3% of seawater is salt, each load generates 6kg of salt after processing in an evaporation bed.
Checking for the right seawater
This is Stonehaven Sea Salt’s seventh time out on the water, including a pilot run by Robert right at the start of the venture.
As we chug away from the harbour, Ellen periodically checks the water by scooping it into a glass beaker.
She takes the sample from a white bucket in the corner of the boat that is fed by a hose straight from the sea.
Meanwhile, captain Wes is talking about the lack of seabirds. Usually, great flocks follow the boat, but bird flu has almost wiped out the local population. Wes says he saw a couple of gannets in the morning, the first he has seen in a week.
It turns out that Wes is full of talk. Our captain is a salty sea dog, despite his roots in landlocked Leicestershire, and spends the trip pointing out local landmarks and marine life.
I consider asking his opinion on eating yum yums before heading out to sea, but stay quiet for fear of looking like a landlubber.
And anyway, the water is calm; it is one of those beautiful clear summer days that makes the sea sparkle. I put yum yum thoughts behind me and try to enjoy the view.
Picking the exact spot
Wes checks his bearings and we slow to a stop. Wherever Ellen and Robert take water from, Wes notes down the exact map location.
When the salt is dried and packed for sale, the geolocation details are stamped on the box. Ellen says the customers love it as it shows the work that went into collecting the salt.
Watch: Our day out on the boat to collect Stonehaven sea salt.
Ellen is happy with the latest sample and fills up the last tank.
By now, we are out by Dunnottar Castle, the ruined fortress that watches over Stonehaven. It features on Stonehaven Sea Salt’s distinctive metal boxes so Kath the photographer gets Wes to edge the boat around so she can get a few photos of Ellen and the castle.
The maneuver puts the boat broadside to the waves and we start to lurch. I grab a handhold among the fishing gear as I feel the yum yum slosh around in my stomach.
Kath can’t quite get the shot she wants so Wes kicks the boat around some more. More swaying. If the yum yum was to reappear then this would be the moment.
Instead, my stomach wins. Equilibrium is regained as Kath gets the picture she wants and we head back to the harbour.
On the return leg, we see some dolphins. Four pods swim past, arcing gracefully over the top of the water. Kath races to get her long lens out, while I wonder if dolphins ever regret anything they eat.
Finally, we round Stonehaven pier ready to tot up the days catch – 200 litres of seawater, and a successfully eaten yum yum.
