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Should I Tell You I’m Trans? Young Fife filmmaker’s BBC programme shines a light on the dating debate

Fife filmmaker Jax Sinclair

Growing up was not easy for Jax Sinclair. Dealing with gender dysphoria and trying to navigate life as a teenager in a small town was, says Jax, ‘alienating’.

But, as Jax’s film for BBC Scotland’s Disclosure is released, they’re reflecting on how things have changed for young people today.

The film explores the difficulties of navigating the dating scene – and the debate around whether there’s a need to tell someone you’re trans before getting intimate.

Jax, 23, grew up in Burntisland and went to Balwearie High, before moving to Dunfermline High School after coming out as trans at 17.

Community

“My experience growing up was quite alienating. I was the first and only trans person in my school at that time,” Jax explains.

“It’s difficult trying to manage at school and keep up academically when you’ve got gender dysphoria and everything else that comes along with that.”

Jax Sinclair.
Jax Sinclair.

Going back to school to speak to the LGBT group there recently, Jax realised things have improved a bit.

“I asked the 10 or 12 trans people there to raise their hands if they’d experienced transphobia. They all had.

“But things have moved on. I can see that people have a community and peers they can relate to, which wasn’t how it was for me.”

Jax talks to young people like Maya and Noah, also in the trans community, in the film Should I Tell You I'm Trans?
Jax talks to young people like Maya and Noah, also in the trans community, in the film Should I Tell You I’m Trans?  Image BBC iPlayer.

Jax made YouTube videos while still at school, as a way of coping with the experiences of their transition.

Debate on TikTok

This led to a degree in journalism, before securing the Lyra McKee training bursary, and a job with the BBC’s investigations unit, with editor Shelley Jofre.

“That’s how my film Should I Tell You I’m Trans began. I started making it after I saw gender disclosure being debated on TikTok,” Jax continues.

Tayla Dow, who features in the film, says safety fears influence her decision not to disclose her gender identity on nights out
Tayla Dow, who features in the film, says safety fears influence her decision not to disclose her gender identity on nights out. Image BBC.

Jax says: “As a trans person myself I wanted to find out how other young people are dealing with the complexities of this question – should I tell you I’m trans?

In the film, Jax talks to people on both sides of the debate about whether to disclose before they get intimate with someone.

Some, like Tayla and Lily, say it’s their right to decide when to discuss their past. While others feel it’s best to let prospective partners know straight away.

Coming out

“Coming out itself isn’t like a one-time event, it’s something LGBT people have to do continually throughout their lives with family members, friends, partners and others,” Jax continues.

“It can be challenging when you’re young, trying to navigate dating and relationships but for trans people there’s an added layer of having to come out.

“You have to find someone you’re attracted to, you’re compatible with but you also have to respect your identity.”

The programme also considers the consequences of not being upfront.

In the film Harry says he tells girls upfront that he is transgender
In the film Harry says he tells girls upfront that he is transgender. Image BBC iPlayer.

Jax says: “I want people to watch and understand that there isn’t a black and white answer for trans people. There are complexities and grey areas in the discussion.

“I wanted to focus on, rather than activists or campaigners, just everyday people living their life, and find out what challenges they face particularly around dating and sex.

Trans journey

“The film wasn’t about providing an answer of yes or no, it was to explore and understand the complexities.”

Jax is rightly proud of the film and agrees it is a good way to open up conversation and education on topics that have previously been taboo.

Jax is now working on other investigations for Disclosure. Image BBC iPlayer.

“It is important as a trans person in journalism to be visible,” says Jax. “I want to be that person that I wanted to see when I was younger and growing up.

“I’d say to any young person setting out now on a trans journey, don’t let your story inhibit you, don’t let anyone hold you back from being you.”

Should I Tell You I’m Trans? is available now on BBC iPlayer.

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