‘You are not alone’: Local mums on finding proper playtimes for children with ADHD and autism

Two local mums are reaching out to families who may be struggling to find play settings due to their children’s additional needs.

For the Clarkson family from Fife and the Flemings from Angus, play time can be incredibly challenging, with many mainstream settings out of reach.

Yet both have found great support locally.

And they’re keen to share their experiences with other families who may have children with autism, ADHD or sensory challenges – or who are awaiting diagnosis.

Vivian and Wayne Clarkson live in Kirkcaldy with their six-year-old son Dylan and daughter Robyn, 10.

Dylan was diagnosed with Global Developmental Delay (GDD) aged four and is currently on a waiting list for a likely diagnosis of autism and ADHD.

Mum Vivian explains: “Dylan’s too big for toddler groups but doesn’t have the awareness or social skills to go without us or be left in classes for his age group.

‘Keeping safe’

“Soft play presents significant challenges and playparks tend not to be in enclosed spaces which means Dylan can’t play freely.

“We have to consider all eventualities while giving him opportunities to build his social skills and keep him safe. Although he can take our hand when we’re out, he’d think nothing of running into water, jumping off a high drop, or running into the road.”

Vivian continues: “Having a child with Dylan’s needs, it’s easy to lock yourself away, to avoid judgement when out and about.

‘Take the walls away’

“However, Dylan needs to run and be active. We were once told ‘if he’s bouncing off the walls, take the walls away’ which is a great piece of advice. It just takes a lot of planning but can help.”

The family have discovered The Yard in Kirkcaldy, a charity which also runs services in Dundee and Edinburgh.

Vivian explains: “There’s a perception that disability has to be physical. However, there will be so many families out there whose children have sensory challenges or are on the pathway to a diagnosis who would really benefit from The Yard.

“Dylan and Robyn are outside a lot, playing tig, running, laughing. Dylan loves messy play, the trampoline, sandpit and the toy cars.

‘Come and be part of something’

“If your child has additional needs, come along and become part of something. At The Yard, everyone just ‘gets it’.

“Even if you feel it sometimes, you’re not alone. The Yard staff really understand the struggles families face, struggles that often stop them from enjoying a day out.”

Marc and Lisa Fleming from Monifieth, Angus agree.

They have 11-year-old twin boys Keir and Luka, who were diagnosed with autism and ADHD aged 3, and daughter Rosie, 7.

Both working full-time, Marc is a lecturer and Lisa a social care worker.

‘If there’s a meltdown it doesn’t matter’

Marc says: “Bringing up twins is challenging enough but having two boys with additional support needs can be extremely tough.

“We realised we really needed some extra support as a family. The Yard works on so many levels.

“Even though they’re twins, they don’t always want to be together so The Yard Dundee is big enough to allow them time to play apart, and play with others.

“If they have a meltdown or an off-day, it doesn’t matter.”

“That gave us a new level of confidence and reassurance,” says Lisa. “It’s really tough worrying how your child might react or respond when out and about, and what other people think.

“But, at The Yard, they don’t need to alter their behaviour just to be socially acceptable, no-one’s telling them to ‘calm down’ or ‘behave’ – the staff know exactly how to respond and support them.”

Siblings and the wider family can also attend, a huge factor for the Fleming family with Rosie to consider too.

‘Struggle to fit into mainstream’

“Rosie loves The Yard, looks forward to it as much as the boys do,” says Marc.

“She loves arts and crafts, messy play, interacting with other children and staff. She’s a young carer in many ways but too young to be one, so this gives her respite too.”

Gill Thomson, Service Development Manager at The Yard (Dundee and Fife) adds: “The Yard is here for anyone who thinks their child could benefit from an inclusive play setting.

“Every day we hear about the struggles families face trying to fit into mainstream situations.

“We provide an alternative, a supportive environment. Because The Yard doesn’t ask for a diagnosis, there’s no need to explain your situation or provide a paper trail of medical history.

“Please get in touch.”