Nicky Foley, from Dunning in Perthshire, always felt different growing up and into adulthood.
She thought differently to others and struggled throughout her education and relationships.
When her son was diagnosed with ADHD at four years old, she began to recognise some of the tell-tale traits in herself and decided to pursue a diagnosis.
After being diagnosed with autism at 45, doctors told her two years later she also has ADHD.
Nicky, now 51, says: “When my son was diagnosed, as many parents do, you start seeing traits in yourself.
“I’d always felt different, but had never really had an explanation for it. The diagnosis has totally revolutionised my whole life.”
Struggles at school
Nicky struggled at school, where her autism and ADHD failed to be picked up by teachers.
She continues: “School was challenging. I just didn’t check in. I used to put my hand up constantly when I first went because I didn’t understand.
“Teachers would repeat what they’d said, but I just didn’t get it. You do that so many times you start getting called a troublemaker and an attention seeker so you think ‘I’ll just be quiet then’.
“I bombed out of everything my whole life – college, relationships, everything. But I just couldn’t focus, even though I wanted to and was making the effort.
“I always think people with ADHD put in 10 times more effort than people without it. They have to just to understand the world around them.”
‘I thought I was stupid’
Having faced challenges at school, Nicky’s diagnosis has enabled her to pursue her dream of going to university to do film and media studies at Stirling University.
She says: “The fact no one picked up on any of the issues I had meant I couldn’t go to university. I gave up because I thought I was stupid.
“I’d been told my whole life I was stupid, so I believed it. But, the second you go to university and can tell them about your diagnosis, they tell you about all the ways they can help you.
“Getting a diagnosis makes it accessible. It has taken my whole life to fulfil this ambition and it’s so hard for me.
“I chose to study film and media because when I was a kid, I didn’t communicate. I didn’t know how to and I still have problems with social communication.
“So, I made films and animations and used them as a way of communicating with people.
“If I wanted to explain something about the way I was feeling, I’d use music or TV because I couldn’t articulate it or explain it to people.
“It’s only been since I’ve been at uni I’ve learned how to articulate feelings, thoughts and emotions. It has completely and utterly changed my life.”
‘It’s like a superpower’
ADHD is a condition that is often misunderstood. And while Nicky says there are challenges that come with it, there are also positives, too.
And learning about the condition has enabled her to mentor for a local support group in Perth, to help others with ADHD and their loved ones understand too.
She explains: “It’s not acknowledged there are positives to ADHD. It’s like a superpower.
“It’s like having the whole hob on all the time, which is great if you want to boil four pots, because it means you can do a lot of things together at the same time.
“But, it’s horrendous if you want to sleep or focus on one thing.
“It’s also a superpower if you can talk to other people about ADHD. Then you’re educating and changing people’s opinions.
“I don’t think there’s anything more important in my life right now than changing people’s perceptions.
“I have two kids with these conditions and I don’t want the world to be for them like it has been for me. People misunderstand ADHD. The main thing is understanding.
“Since I’ve learnt about my condition, I’ve been able to help my children in a different way and advocate for them better.
“They know if they can fully understand themselves, that’s where it begins.”
- If you or someone you know has ADHD, you can get support through Perth and Kinross ADHD Support group. Find out more by visiting their website or emailing adhdperth@aol.co.uk
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