Fife woman’s joy at being home for Christmas as eating disorder recovery continues

By Dawn Donaghey

November 28 2022, 5:53am

Amy Young is sharing her experience of recovery in the hope it will help others.

A Fife family whose relationships struggled under the pressures of an eating disorder will enjoy Christmas together this year.

Last Christmas Amy Young from Cellardyke was away from home, very ill and being treated in a specialist unit for eating disorders.

Warning: This article contains sensitive information about disordered eating.

As Amy’s recovery continues, she and her parents hope telling their story will help others feeling desperate or needing support.

Here, Amy, 28, shares how the cost of living led to her health crisis. And mum Celia and dad Dan tell of their joy and pride at their daughter’s progress.

“When you’re in the grip of an eating disorder and somebody tells you things can get better it’s impossible to believe them,” Amy explains.

“I’ve been in that horrible, horrible place. And I’m telling you it’s true, recovery is possible and you can be happy again.”

Amy with mum Celia and dad Dan. Image: Gareth Jennings/DC Thomson.

Amy grew up in Fife, a high achiever, studying at St Andrews before moving to Milton Keynes five years ago to pursue her dream of becoming an engineer.

“That’s when my eating disorders started, ” she explains. “I’d not moved away from home before and I had a normal relationship with food growing up.

‘Cost of living crisis’

“For me it was living on a limited budget that started it. First I cut out my socialising budget, which made me quite isolated, then I cut down spending on food.

“This is something we’re seeing in this cost of living crisis too, eating disorders increasing as people restrict.

“Around half experience their first symptoms of an eating disorder in adulthood.”

Amy walking in St Andrews. — Amy’s recovery included her finding a new, less stressful, job as a tour guide in St Andrews. Image: Gareth Jennings/DC Thomson.

Amy’s illness later spiralled into bulimia and over-exercise but, as with many eating disorders, she kept it secret from her family.

“It’s so easy to tell yourself you’re in control,” Amy says. “You don’t realise you’ve really lost control.”

‘Watching someone you love change’

For Celia and Dan this was one of the most difficult things to deal with.

Celia explains: “It came as a huge shock and, for a long time, Amy battled to keep us in the dark and silent.

“It was a truly dreadful feeling watching someone you love changing from a happy, energetic, fun-loving girl to someone you hardly recognise.

Mum Celia and Amy. — Mum Celia says discovering Amy had an eating disorder was a huge shock. Image: Amy Young.

“As a mother I felt I’d failed – how could Amy have reached this place ‘unnoticed’?

“I really wanted to find someone whose loved one had developed the illness as an adult living away from home, and this I never did.”

When Amy finally got help (a close friend insisted she go back to her GP after feeling dismissed the first time round) she let her parents back in.

‘I’d pushed my parents away’

“I’d kind of cut them out of my life, pushed them away, as eating disorder brain thrives on isolation,” Amy explains.

The road to her recovery came last year when she was admitted to the Regional Eating Disorders Unit (REDU) at St John’s Hospital in Livingston.

Celia says: “When REDU stepped in we breathed a sigh of relief that someone might be able to stop her dying.

Amy, pictured walking with her parents, is grateful for her parents' "amazing support" as she journeys towards her eating disorder recovery. Image: Gareth Jennings/DC Thomson. — Amy is grateful for her parents’ “amazing support”. Image: Gareth Jennings/DC Thomson.

“I’ll never forget Amy asking me to take photos of her on the day she went in, so she would remember not to get to this point ever again.

‘Tears streamed down my face’

“Tears streamed down my face as I saw the true nature of this terrible illness.

“Last Christmas Day I was allowed into Amy’s room for the first time. Dan (due to lockdown) stood outside peeking through cracks in the frosted window covering.

“We’re so thankful she stuck with it and forever grateful to the staff that nursed her back from the brink.”

And this Christmas will be very different.

Amy will socialise with friends over the festive period, as her eating disorder recovery continues. Image: Amy Young.

The family will be together and Amy will see her friends, including a Christmas lunch with the local wild swimming group she’s joined.

“Last year I had given up hope,” says Amy, who now works as a walking tour guide in St Andrews. “My parents have been amazingly supportive.

Support with Christmas

“This year I realise Christmas is just another day. There can be lots of pressure for it to be this perfect day with lots of socialising around food and drink.

“Beat has advice and an online course about coping with Christmas and practical tips that can help too.

“If you’re dreading Christmas, I know it can be hard, life doesn’t have to be like this.”

Celia agrees: “We’re at a place I never thought we’d get to. We’ll be forever proud of Amy. Speak to BEAT, find a support group, and write to your loved one what you can’t say to their face.”