Imagine you are in the shower before you head to the airport on holiday and you begin to realise the bottom of it is covered in your own hair – and it continues to fall out as you wash it.
This is exactly what happened to Fife woman Ali Morrison, who still remembers how traumatic that moment was.
“Before me and my husband were going to the airport to catch our flight to Turkey in October 2019, I went for a shower,” the 53-year-old explains.
“As I washed my hair, I started to realise it was coming out in handfuls in my hand and I noticed the bottom of the shower was covered in hair.
“I continued washing it in absolute shock/horror, but a big clump of it had all matted together.
“When I came out the shower, I said to my husband, Richard, that my hair had gone into this weird, big clump.
“He was shocked, but he was also really calm and told me we would sort it.
“My hair was shoulder-length at the time, but it just felt dead. That is the only way I can describe it.
“My hair was falling out before my eyes.
Over the next few days Ali tried to enjoy the sailing holiday with her husband, while trying to understand what was happening to her.
“I spent the holiday picking up handfuls of hair and putting it in the bin.
“I felt ashamed, scared and stressed.”
She adds: “By the time we got home a week later, I had lost around 80% of the hair on my head.”
Ali later discovered what was causing her hair loss – she was suffering from alopecia.
It is an autoimmune disease that attacks your body’s hair follicles, causing patchy hair loss.
What did it feel like to buy her first wig?
When Ali – who works as a nanny – came back home to Fife from her holiday she had to explain to her boss what had happened. She returned to work wearing a hat.
She also had to message her family.
“That was really traumatic because I didn’t want them to worry or be alarmed. I was just so upset.
“But I had to put on a brave face.”
Ali’s youngest sister went with her to a wig shop – but it wasn’t a pleasant experience.
“I picked one which looked most like my natural hair.
“In hindsight though this was a mistake because nothing looks like your own biological hair.
“I hated that first wig.”
Ali got a doctor’s appointment and she was referred to a dermatologist.
“I knew I had alopecia,” she says.
“But what I didn’t realise is how quickly you could go from having hair to literally having no hair at all.”
Prescription included four free wigs for a year
Ali had an appointment at the dermatology department at Queen Margaret Hospital in Dunfermline on Christmas Eve 2019.
This was when she was diagnosed with alopecia and she was given a prescription for four free wigs a year and offered immunosuppressant tablets to treat her condition.
But she decided not to take any medication as she didn’t want to risk any side-effects.
By Christmas, Ali had lost her eyebrows, lashes and all her body hair.
“To be honest the most difficult thing wasn’t losing the hair on my head, it was losing my facial hair.
“I felt like I didn’t have a face and looked like an alien.
Ali said she later had her eyebrows micro-bladed which made a huge difference and wishes she had done that earlier.
“Having my eyebrows tattooed was a massive help in getting my face back again.”
Counselling sessions brought relief for Fife alopecia sufferer
Although she had started a new job with a new family earlier that year, by October 2020, Ali was struggling.
“I just felt broken,” she explained.
“I just didn’t feel like myself anymore.”
Fortunately her husband Richard is able to access counselling through his work as an investment accountant.
So he was able to get Ali an appointment privately with a psychologist in Edinburgh.
“I wouldn’t be where I am today without those counselling sessions.
“She asked me the difficult questions I couldn’t ask myself. I had been very stressed in my previous job before my hair fell out and I tried to stick it out when I should have just left.
“I hadn’t realised I blamed myself for what happened.”
‘Coming out’ with alopecia on social media was ‘liberating’
The end of the counselling marked a turning point for Ali, who found she started to enjoy choosing different wigs to wear.
“When I finished the counselling I basically came out on social media.
“I said this is what’s been happening over the last year. I’ve got alopecia.
“Here are pictures of me wearing wigs and here are pictures of me with my bald head – this is who I am.
“It was liberating.
“Doing that felt like the biggest weight had been lifted off me.”
Deciding to have her head tattooed
As a final move towards accepting her condition, Ali bravely decided to have her head tattooed in June last year.
A few months earlier she had a temporary tattoo done and loved it so this persuaded her to go for permanent inking.
She had a consultation with Ellis Philp at Dagren Tattoo Studio in Dunfermline, and gave him some ideas for the design.
“I wasn’t really sure what I wanted, apart from wanting a fern because I love them.
“Ellis hadn’t done a head tattoo before but he listened to me and just got it.
“When I went in to have it done, I still didn’t know what the design was. But as soon as I saw it, I was like yeah, let’s go for it.”
Ali sat for five and three-quarter hours while Ellis did her tattoo.
“Spending a whole day with him doing that was really empowering. And it was more than just getting a tattoo, it was like finishing a journey.
“When I saw it, I was just like ‘oh my god that’s it, that is exactly what should be there.”
Supporting Alopecia UK in Fife and beyond
Ali feels passionate about raising awareness of alopecia and helping the charity Alopecia UK which has given her a lot of support.
She has completed two big fundraisers for the charity.
The first in 2022 was a 250-mile walking fundraiser, which raised £1,400.
And the second, which she did last year, was a 12-hour dance-a-thon in her kitchen which netted £1,600.
Ali is thankful for the support of husband, Richard, 47 and her family – mum Rosina, 76, sisters Toni-Jane, 50; Jenna, 39 and brother Michael, 56.
“My husband Richard has been hugely supportive and kind from day one and has always said I am still me regardless of how I saw myself. My friends and family have been so caring too.
“I will continue to help others see there can be a positive outcome after hair loss.
“I have gained more than I have lost with my alopecia.”
Conversation