When Fife dad Ian Steedman was a young boy his mother was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS).
But he had no idea that four decades later, he would also be diagnosed with the same disease.
And it would prove to be life-changing for him and his family – who have found many ways to show their love and support – including one special tattoo.
But more on that later.
Ian was aged 52 when he was told he had relapsing remitting Multiple Sclerosis (RRMS).
As a result, he had to retire from work on medical grounds.
While his wife Diane took early retirement from her job with Lloyds Banking Group to care for her husband full time.
But while some days can be difficult for the couple – who have been married for 36 years and live in Dunfermline – they remain devoted to each other.
Diane, 56, says: “When he was first diagnosed he was told he had relapsing remitting Multiple Sclerosis.
“But recently we have been told he might have developed into secondary progressive MS.
“So it is hard when he is having one of his bad days.
“But on the plus side when he has his better days, we make sure we spend time together.
“Our two grown-up children Greig, 30, and Aimee, 32, come and visit us regularly – we also have really good support from friends.”
First symptoms of MS
Multiple sclerosis (MS) is a condition that can affect the brain and spinal cord, causing problems with vision, arm or leg movement, sensation or balance.
Ian was initially diagnosed with relapsing remitting MS. With this type, he has flare-ups of the disease, or relapses.
Between these flare-ups, there are periods of recovery, or remissions.
With secondary progressive MS, neurologic function declines progressively and disability increases over time.
Ian says that while his mum had MS, he didn’t realise he was starting to show symptoms of the disease.
“My mum was diagnosed with MS in the 1970s and I was just a young laddie at that time, around the age of 12,” he says.
“Yet when I was 50 and started having symptoms, I didn’t immediately think it was MS.
“For 25 years I had worked as a postman before taking redundancy in 2015.
“I then became an apprentice engineer at digital network company Openreach.
“While I was doing the training, I was finding it hard to concentrate.
“But I just put it down to the stress of learning a new job.
“Then one morning I collapsed. My legs didn’t want to work.”
Being diagnosed with MS
When Ian saw his GP he explained his symptoms and told him his mum had MS.
After learning this, his doctor referred him to a neurologist.
Ian then had an MRI which showed he had lesions on his brain – caused by MS – confirming he had the disease.
“I was relieved when I found out I had MS because at least I knew what was wrong with me.
“It was more worried about the impact it would have on my wife and kids.”
Diane says: “Greg and Aimee were both adults when Ian was diagnosed. It hasn’t been easy and they have had their ups and downs with it.
“But they have also been really supportive.”
Wife Diane became his carer
Less than a year after Ian started his new job with Outreach, he had to medically retire.
And in December 2022, Diane took early retirement to care for her husband full-time.
As part of her caring responsibilities, Diane manages the house, sorts out Ian’s medication and collects his prescriptions.
“Ian still likes to cook when he can. He also still drives, unless he isn’t feeling great and then I will drive him to appointments.
“When he is having a bad day and needs help, I assist him with getting dressed/undressed if he needs it.”
Diane says when her husband is struggling his symptoms include brain fog, memory issues, pain, and fatigue.
“Recently he’s been finding it harder to do everything and that’s having an impact on his mental health too.
“Everybody’s MS is different” she continues.
“Ian can wake up in the morning and feel ok. But then fatigue hits him and we have to change our plans.
“It’s all about just taking it day by day.”
‘MS has changed our lives completely’
Diane said Ian’s condition has had an impact on their relationship.
“MS has changed our lives completely,” she says.
“Before, after our kids had grown up, we used to walk into town, have few a drinks and something to eat, socialise, and then walk home again.
“But we can’t do that anymore.”
She continues: “Becoming Ian’s carer has changed our relationship.
“I feel sometimes that I care for him too much and do too much for him.
“He says I don’t need to do everything for him.
“But I also make sure I look after myself and my own mental health by going to the gym three times a week.
“It is hard sometimes to switch off being a carer and be his wife. I do find that quite challenging.”
Fundraising for MS research
As a result of her husband’s condition, Diane has become passionate about fundraising for MS research.
She has organised a number of fundraising events for MS Society Scotland and so far has netted more than £6,000 for the charity.
But her most ambitious fundraiser to date is going to be a charity ball which is taking place at the Carnegie Conference Centre in Dunfermline on October 5.
Guests will be treated to a welcome drinks reception, three-course dinner, auction and raffle and music from former X-Factor contestants, tribute band Scotland Rocks.
And the event guest speaker will be Jim Leishman MBE, Provost of Fife.
Tickets cost £50 per person or £450 for a table of 10.
Matching tattoos for Fife father and son
The name of the charity ball, ‘Faith for the cure of MS’, has a special significance for the Steedman family.
Ian explains: “Around three years ago I went to the tattooist Mark Strong in the morning to get it done.
“I had always wanted a tattoo but I wanted one that meant something.
“I decided to get an angel with an orange MS awareness ribbon with the words ‘Faith for the cure of MS’.
“But what I didn’t know is that my son Greg went along to the same place in the afternoon to get the exact same tattoo!
“I couldn’t believe it when he went and got that. It was a nice surprise.”
‘Taking each day as it comes’
Ian and Diane remain positive about the future and have planned events they are looking forward to.
“I just take each day as it comes with my MS but I still have things I look forward to.
“For instance I am going with my son and a pal to watch a Manchester United legends game in September.
“And Diane and I have booked another cruise for next year with some friends. So we have that to look forward to as well.”
Diane says she still loves her husband as much today as the day she married him.
Ian adds: “Having Diane’s support means the world to me and I wouldn’t know where I would be without her.
“She is my rock.”
Diane is still looking for sponsorship from businesses for the charity ball in October so all the money raised can go to the charity.
Anyone wanting to help can contact Diane by email at steedmanwest@outlook.com or call 07368 455945.
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