Three years ago Kirkcaldy dad Kenny Armour walked into a room in Stark’s Park and his life changed forever.
Before that the 34-year-old admits he was on a downward spiral as he struggled with anxiety, depression and stress – with alcohol becoming a coping mechanism.
His GP had recommended he go along to an Andy’s Man Club meeting.
But it took Kenny a long time before he finally plucked up the courage to attend.
“I was your typical male who didn’t really speak about things,” Kenny says.
“And to be honest, I just thought sitting in a room with a group of men isn’t going to be for me.
“But when I started attending meetings at Andy’s Man Club, my life changed completely.”
Ever since that first day he walked through the Kirkcaldy club’s doors Kenny hasn’t drank any alcohol.
And he has also gone on to secure a full-time job with the charity – overseeing the running of all 14 Andy’s Man Clubs in Fife.
When did Kenny start struggling with anxiety?
After leaving Balwearie High School, Kenny secured an apprenticeship with manufacturing firm BiFab.
It was at this time he first started struggling with anxiety.
“I was stepping out of my comfort zone and I found it difficult working in a new place with new people.”
Kenny says his anxiety was heightened further in 2014 when his first daughter Sophie was born.
“I was 23 at the time and I found the adjustment difficult.
“My friends were out enjoying themselves at weekends.
“Whereas I had the responsibility of looking after a family.
“Having that responsibility at such a young age was a big thing for me.
“That’s when I first realised I was struggling.
“I was feeling very depressed – at times I felt suicidal – but I wouldn’t talk about it.”
Kenny went to his doctor who prescribed him with anti-depressants and he was able to access some counselling, which helped in the short term.
A change of job after redundancy
But in 2018 Kenny was dealt a blow when he was made redundant from BiFab.
And this was when he decided on a career change – turning his gardening hobby into a full-time job.
Kenny started promoting his self-employed gardening business on Facebook.
As a result, the jobs started coming in which kept him busy during the pandemic.
However after the lockdowns eased, he soon found himself becoming overwhelmed.
“After Covid, people started spending money on their gardens and suddenly my business just boomed,” he explains.
“It ended up being too busy and I was struggling to cope.
“I was working more hours than I ever had before.
“This is when I started drinking alcohol as a coping mechanism. After a busy day I would come home and have a few bottles of beer.
“Soon I was drinking alcohol every night and depending on it.”
He says his drinking started having an impact as he struggled to get up in the morning for work.
It also put a strain on his relationship with his wife Amy – particularly as the couple now had two children with their second daughter Ivy born in 2019.
Reaching a turning point
Kenny recalls one episode in 2021 which proved to be a ‘turning point’ for him seeking help.
“I have an aviary at the side of my house so I would head there when I needed to escape,” he explains.
“One Saturday night at around 1am my wife found me there extremely drunk.
“She told me I needed to sort myself out.
“The next day she left the house – leaving me with our two daughters.
“I was hungover and in no state to be looking after kids.
“That was a turning point for me and made me realise I needed to do something about it.”
Discovering Andy’s Man Club
Kenny’s GP had previously recommended he try Andy’s Man Club.
But it wasn’t until a new club opened in Kirkcaldy in September 2021 that he decided to attend.
“There were around 16 men there all from different backgrounds.
“As they started talking, I found I could relate to what they were saying.
“It helped me to understand what was going on inside my head – especially talking about anxiety,” he says.
What happens at Andy’s Man Club?
Kenny explains what happens at an Andy’s man Club meeting.
“Everyone sits in chairs in a circle and the facilitators, who run the meetings, ask the group five questions.
“There is a big stress ball we pass round the group so when you have the ball it’s your turn to talk.
“But there is no pressure on anyone to talk if they don’t want to.
“The first three questions always stay the same.
“The first one is: how’s your week been?; the second question is to name one positive thing about your week and the third is: is there anything you want to get off your chest?
“The last two questions change every week, but they are designed to be more light-hearted to lift the mood.”
Kenny says anything discussed at meetings is confidential so it is a ‘safe space’ for men to open up.
How Andy’s Man Club changed Kenny’s life
Within three months of going to Andy’s Man Club, the dad-of-two found he was in a much better headspace.
He soon started doing voluntary work with the charity – helping to run club meetings.
A job with the club then came up – Kenny applied for it and was successful.
The project development champion role involved him looking after the existing clubs, delivering presentations to businesses as well as oversee the opening of new clubs across Scotland.
“I started working for Andy’s Man Club full-time in September 2022.
“It gave me that extra responsibility and I liked the fact that I was helping others as well as helping myself at the same time.”
Since working for the charity Kenny’s role has evolved and he is now in charge of the Fife area clubs, which have a total of around 200 members.
“Although I work for Andy’s Man Club I still go along to meetings.
“Talking has helped my recovery massively. Now I am open and honest when I am struggling instead of keeping things to myself.”
Kenny also stopped taking anti-depressants and he hasn’t drank any alcohol since attending his first club meeting.
Support from family
Kenny admits that as well as help from Andy’s Man Club, having support from his family has also aided his recovery.
“Giving my two daughters a better dad in their life has given me a focus more than anything.
“My wife Amy has been very supportive too.
“We have been through our own troubles as a couple but we have come out the other end stronger.”
Kenny’s advice for other men
Kenny advises anyone who might be needing help not to suffer in silence and to reach out for support.
“If you are struggling just reach out to somebody – whether that’s sending a message or making a telephone call – and that could be enough to snap you out of a dark place.”
He adds: “There is also Andy’s Man Club. I was one of the ones who didn’t think it would be for me.
“But I am so glad I gave it a try. It has helped me massively and it has changed my life for the better.”
Anyone struggling can contact Samaritans for free on 116 123.
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