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Jingle bells and pizza cutters

A Christmas bike ride.
A Christmas bike ride.

What cycling themed gifts will be under the Christmas tree for you this year?

I once had a Volkswagen Beetle. It was a 1972 model, bright orange (which helped mask the rust), that, in winter, was like driving in a chest freezer.

I swear that on many occasions the outside temperature was warmer than inside the car. No matter, I loved that car and extolled its virtues to anyone who would listen.

Of course, every Christmas and birthday I would receive Beetle cards, toy-cars, books, bottle openers and so on. It’s not that I didn’t appreciate these, but on a purely practical level I very quickly ran out of space to display yet another VW Beetle calendar.

It also meant that my car slowly disintegrated into an iron oxide induced, crumbling go-kart on wheels whilst indoors my flat was adorned with pristine examples of what my car should really look like. The trouble was that those well-meaning gifts may have been more useful if they had been a practical item, but then who wants to receive a tub of rust treatment remedy on Christmas Day?

As a cyclist I find myself in the same predicament. Each year I add another tea towel adorned with pictures of bikes to my collection. I search for more space on my bookshelves to add another cycling tome to my burgeoning library. I have cycling themed pizza cutters, bottle openers, bookmarks, coasters, ornaments, paintings, and so on, when all I really need are some new inner tubes.

One of my favourites is a model aeroplane that clamps to my handlebars. It is complete with twin propellers that spin furiously as I pedal and the wind blows past them. The problem is, like a moth to a flame, I am drawn to cycling tat, but it doesn’t feel right to feed my own cycling related hoarding habit. So, enabling others to fuel my desire leaves me guilt-free and able to spend my money on “practical” items like a new bike.

Scot gets in the festive spirit.
Scot gets in the festive spirit.

This is fully endorsed by my benefactors. Instead of weaning me from my addiction, their active participation only serves to encourage me, but it needs to be managed (read manipulated) by me. It wouldn’t do to let people have free reign over what cycling related gift they think I might like.

Instead my control of the situation knows no bounds and results in many on-line lists being produced throughout the year with additional hints, usually not so subtle, of cycling magazines being thrust in front of friends and family with the accompanying comment of “these would be an ideal gift for the cyclist in your life – if you just happened to know any”.

I never fail to get excited about Christmas day. I still look forward to the excitement of sitting in front of a roaring fire and opening presents. My pleasure of receiving cycling related gifts is only matched by the joy of giving.

In the process of compiling my “must-have” list I manage to find a whole raft of gifts that my cycling family could not do without. Whether they are enamoured as much as I would be about a Tour de France snowglobe, we will have to wait until tomorrow to find out.

Merry Christmas everyone.

 

Where to Ride?    Inverness Pump Track

Suitable for?          BMX and Mountain Bikes

Distance:                300 metres

Where:   Bught Rd, Inverness IV3

Description           For those not sure what a pump track is, it is a small circuit that riders loop around without pedalling. Riders gain momentum by using the rolling terrain to push and pull (pump) on the bike. It is fantastic fun and a great skill to learn as it will transfer directly to off-road riding and improve your bike-handling skills whatever level you are at. It includes a beginners loop and at 300m in length is one of the best facilities of its kind in Scotland. It is floodlit and situated next to an already impressive skatepark.

The pump track has just opened and has benefitted from funding from various bodies including sport Scotland and the Inverness Common Good Fund.