This may be the step into the most dangerous Monday Matters territory I have so far been brave enough to cross the threshold of.
You see, I’m a dog person.
Not a cat person. Assuredly not a cat person.
And with that, sayonara to all you previously loyal friend of feline readers in whose estimation I have now irredeemably plummeted with that pussies pronouncement.
I’ve always been suspicious of moggies and their ability to lull you in with a purring snuggle-up before launching the razor-sharp counter attack.
Perhaps that’s because I’m lacking intelligence, which cat people have in greater abundance than dog people if you opt to subscribe to the findings of one scientific study I stumbled upon concerning this very subject.
Sensitivity and open-mindedness were also more commonly found traits in the kitty contingent, declared the boffins.
A couple of things brought the dog/cat debate to mind last week, one the disgusting and quite mind-boggling flung poo fighting which Carnoustie kids have apparently been indulging in.
Bored young minds are indeed a strange thing, but of all the ways dreamt up to get teenage kicks, surely throwing bags of dog poop around must be one of the most…well, you know what I’m saying.
But the feline folk didn’t entirely come through the week all strutting and tails up after the scale of the country’s feral cat problem was laid bare by one dedicated campaigner’s revelation that she’s returned 4,000 neutered animals to nature in the past two decades.
Through her Cats Liberation petition to the Scottish Parliament, Dr Ellie Stirling is laudably trying to secure measures including compulsory neutering and microchipping as a means of managing the cat population which seems to be breeding like, erm, rabbits (I’m not a rabbit person either).
Statistics showing that four out of five kittens born to owned cats will never find a home hardly demonstrate a wealth of intelligence or sensitivity among owners.
And I wouldn’t be surprised if that aforementioned study was written by someone called Felix.
Cats like Felix, apparently.