A bereaved dad and son will be walking the Tay Bridge in memory of their “stubbornly strong” wife and mum, who died after a battle with Pulmonary Fibrosis (PF).
Vivienne McDonald was just 32-years-old when she died, leaving behind husband Kenny, 55, and little Jacob, who was just 18-months-old at the time.
Diagnosed at 28, doctors originally said that Vivienne would be “lucky to survive the year”.
After a period of feeling unusually unwell, and thinking doctors were about to say that Vivienne had only a short time left, the couple received the shock news that she was three months pregnant.
“She had already had nine miscarriages”, Kenny said.
“We were elated, but I didn’t know what to make of it, because she had been trying for so long”.
Becoming a mother
Doctors warned that the pregnancy came with a number of risks – including that both Vivienne and Jacob, now five, might not survive.
A heartbroken Kenny said he burst into tears when given the news.
“She told doctors to save Jacob no matter what,” he said.
“Being a mother meant everything to her.”
Vivienne got to spend 18-months watching her son grow up before she died.
Kenny described her as “so loving and generous”.
He said: “She would drop everything to help someone out. While she had the illness she never complained.”
Without telling Kenny, Vivienne wrote and hid letters for him all over the house before she died, which he recalled becoming tearful, “still gets to me even today”.
She created memory boxes for Jacob too, writing letters filled with advice for his milestone birthdays and events.
Kenny said he took some comfort in knowing his wife prepared for life after her death.
Struggling after losing Vivienne
He said that after losing Vivienne, all the help he was receiving also disappeared.
“In a few years I went from a husband, to a carer, to a dad and then to a widow and single parent”, Kenny said.
“I had lots of help before while Vivienne was here. But the second she died, all that help just disappeared.
“I’ll be honest with you, I was so busy being a single dad that it didn’t really hit me until a couple of years later when Jacob went to nursery.
“I was able to slow down and because of that, it just crippled me.”
Kenny was plagued with suicidal thoughts, feeling absolutely overwhelmed by his situation.
It wasn’t until his son’s nursery teacher asked how he was coping, that he was finally able to open up and ask for help.
Asking for help
He added that he still has good and bad days, but caring for Jacob and finding a creative outlet through poetry has also helped.
Kenny is now an ambassador of the Pulmonary Fibrosis Trust, where Jacob is also a mascot.
He said he hopes his bridge walk will raise awareness of the disease – especially since it has now been linked to long Covid.
He added: “Over 8,000 people die of PF every single year and yet so few people have even heard about it.
“It is just a horrific disease. The only way I can describe it, is it’s like dry drowning. You’re suffocating. When my wife died she only had 30% lung capacity.
“So the walk is not just in memory of the most bravest soul I’ve ever known. I also hope to raise awareness of this horrific disease.”
Kenny, Jacob and Vivienne’s best friend Kary-Ann McGregor will be walking the bridge on August 8. You can donate to Kenny’s fundraiser here.