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‘New beginnings’: Dundee woman sets up domestic abuse survivors’ support group

Valerie has started the support group at Boomerang Community Centre.
Valerie has started the support group at Boomerang Community Centre.

A Dundee woman has started a new support group for domestic abuse survivors after years of suffering in silence.

Valerie – which is not her real name – struggled with basic skills like cooking, budgeting and chores after the breakdown of her 15-year marriage.

She is now attempting to teach herself, and others, how to live independently.

She said: “I spent 15 years with my ex-husband and that didn’t end well.

Valerie, who has chosen to remain anonymous.

“For some reason it came to me in a counselling session about women starting over – whether it be from domestic abuse, sexual abuse – it came to me that you’re almost having to start your life all over.

“A lot of these women, because they’ve been controlled, they haven’t got control of their finances or anything that’s done for them.

“From that, I realised actually looking at myself after moving into my new property that I didn’t have a clue about anything.

The group meets at Boomerang.

“From the PTSD side of it, I didn’t know how to keep myself safe, even to this day I still don’t know how to keep myself safe.”

The support group is run and funded by the Boomerang Community Centre in Stobswell.

Before he died earlier this year, Neil Ellis, the centre’s founder, had worked with Valerie to get the idea off the ground.

The pair came up with the name Tabula Rasa for the group, which means ‘new beginnings’.

Valerie said: “Neil and I were on the same wavelength on how we wanted the group to be and how we wanted these women to grow.

Neil Ellis died aged 66.

“Neil wanted me to do it because he felt that a lot of current support groups are run by women reading from books, but not someone who hast actually physically experienced what these women have gone through.

“For exactly that reason I’m not going to patronise them, I’m not going to tell them what to do.”

The members first met in July and have been coming together each week to learn new skills and support each other.

So far the women have learned first aid, how to budget, DIY, basic household chores, how to look after their car, karate and much more.

In the future, Valerie plans to have ex-police officers and firefighters hosting training with the women, as well as providing relaxation treats such as yoga, pilates and massages.

Valerie said: “A lot of the things I’m giving them is almost like an imaginary tool box.

“I’m giving these women things that either I’ve used or I think could be beneficial.

“I want these women to make friends with other victims so that we all understand each other, we can all empower each other.”

Dundee worst in Scotland for domestic abuse

Earlier this year, Dundee was named the worst city in Scotland for domestic abuse.

A report by the Scottish Government showed that domestic abuse reports in Scotland had risen for the fourth year in a row, with Dundee having the most cases per head of population.

It was the second year Dundee had been named the worst in Scotland.

Figured showed that 82% of incidents involved a female victim and a male accused.

Valerie says she wants word to spread word about her group so she can help other women who have suffered from domestic abuse in Dundee.

She added: “My plan is to expand. I don’t want it to be based just in Stobswell, because I know that Dundee has the highest domestic abuse rate, so I know for a fact that there are a lot of women who need help.

“I’m not saying to women don’t use WRASAC or Women’s Aid, I’m saying use us with them.”

Women interested in joining the group can get in touch through Boomerang’s Facebook page, by calling 01382 455656 or by emailing boomerang110@btinternet.com.