A murder suspect who has admitted battering a woman to death with a claw hammer and leaving her lying in a pool of her own blood said: “I’m no monster like folk make out”.
Aaron Donald said he thought about the killing of Claire Turnbull “24/7” and couldn’t get it out of his head.
Donald, 28, from Torryburn, Fife, denies murdering Claire, 36, on October 5 last year and attempting to defeat the ends of justice by misleading police and hiding the murder weapon. He has lodged special defences claiming he was suffering from a mental disorder and diminished responsibility at the time.
He told jurors at the High Court at Livingston: “When that poor lassie’s mum is sitting behind me and I hear her sobbing I’m racked with guilt.
“It shouldnae have happened. I’m no monster like folk make out but that happened.
“I can’t take back what I done. I did grab that hammer.
“I can’t escape the violence that came out, but if anybody’s suggesting I intentionally took that lassie’s life I can honestly swear to God I did not mean to do that.”
Donald said he suffered from mental health problems which psychiatrists linked to a stressful incident while serving a sentence at Perth Prison.
Giving evidence in his own defence he said he fully accepted responsibility for the single mum’s death in the flat he shared with former co-accused Laure McMurdo in Blairhall, near Dunfermline.
He said there had been no malice involved and claimed he had panicked after what happened and “felt like running and jumping off a bridge”.
He said he had the hammer hidden down the side of the sofa on their living room because he was “paranoid” about being assaulted in his own home.
Under cross examination by advocate depute Bernard Ablett, Donald admitted lying to police by telling them he had punched Claire twice in the face, admitting that his former co-accused had done it.
Mr Ablett asked him: “So how do we know when you’re telling the truth or telling a lie?”
Donald replied: “I was going to tell you lies here I wouldn’t swear to God. I wouldn’t be sitting with rosary beads in my pocket telling the truth.
“I’ve nothing to hide.”
He revealed the killing had taken less than a minute and a half from start to finish and insisted he “wasn’t aware of causing any damage” to the dead woman.
He said: “I knew after what had happened and it was too late.
“I honestly lost the plot. I struck her on the head.
“I wasn’t conscious of making a decision to do that. I wasn’t in full control then.”
The trial, before Lady Scott, continues.
A murder suspect who has admitted battering a woman to death with a claw hammer and leaving her lying in a pool of her own blood said: “I’m no monster like folk make out”.
Aaron Donald said he thought about the killing of Claire Turnbull “24/7” and couldn’t get it out of his head.
Donald, 28, from Torryburn, Fife, denies murdering Claire, 36, on October 5 last year and attempting to defeat the ends of justice by misleading police and hiding the murder weapon. He has lodged special defences claiming he was suffering from a mental disorder and diminished responsibility at the time.
He told jurors at the High Court at Livingston: “When that poor lassie’s mum is sitting behind me and I hear her sobbing I’m racked with guilt.
“It shouldnae have happened. I’m no monster like folk make out but that happened.
“I can’t take back what I done. I did grab that hammer.
“I can’t escape the violence that came out, but if anybody’s suggesting I intentionally took that lassie’s life I can honestly swear to God I did not mean to do that.”
Donald said he suffered from mental health problems which psychiatrists linked to a stressful incident while serving a sentence at Perth Prison.
Giving evidence in his own defence he said he fully accepted responsibility for the single mum’s death in the flat he shared with former co-accused Laure McMurdo in Blairhall, near Dunfermline.
He said there had been no malice involved and claimed he had panicked after what happened and “felt like running and jumping off a bridge”.
He said he had the hammer hidden down the side of the sofa on their living room because he was “paranoid” about being assaulted in his own home.
Under cross examination by advocate depute Bernard Ablett, Donald admitted lying to police by telling them he had punched Claire twice in the face, admitting that his former co-accused had done it.
Mr Ablett asked him: “So how do we know when you’re telling the truth or telling a lie?”
Donald replied: “I was going to tell you lies here I wouldn’t swear to God. I wouldn’t be sitting with rosary beads in my pocket telling the truth.
“I’ve nothing to hide.”
He revealed the killing had taken less than a minute and a half from start to finish and insisted he “wasn’t aware of causing any damage” to the dead woman.
He said: “I knew after what had happened and it was too late.
“I honestly lost the plot. I struck her on the head.
“I wasn’t conscious of making a decision to do that. I wasn’t in full control then.”
The trial, before Lady Scott, continues.