A Fife woman who watched her partner die in a house fire set by his own brother has revealed how crucial a charity has been in helping her get through the most challenging years of her life.
Bex Williams, 28, who is originally from Wormit, has been trying to heal and rebuild her life in the wake of her boyfriend Cameron Logan’s horrific murder which happened in Milngavie, near Glasgow, in the early hours of New Year’s Day 2017.
Cameron’s brother Blair doused him in petrol and set him alight as he slept, while Bex, who could only watch in horror, also suffered serious life-changing injuries in the blaze which saw Blair put behind bars for at least 20 years.
Day 11: The Manda Centre – providing support after trauma, loss & personal crisis.
Rebecca Williams lost her partner in a deliberate fire which also injured her. She's been going to the Manda Centre for more than three years.#ScotCharityAdvent
Donate:https://t.co/NhZ7UjkE0h pic.twitter.com/XXMosKBFcb
— Scottish Charity Advent (@ScCharityAdvent) December 11, 2020
Speaking publicly about her ordeal this week to highlight The Manda Centre, which was set up to help those affected by trauma and loss, Bex – who previously worked as a radio journalist – said the work done by the charity has truly saved her life.
“I’ve never been the sort of person who thought I would have reached the stage where I considered taking my own life, but I was pretty lost,” she said.
“The Manda Centre definitely saved me.
“I lost my partner Cameron in a deliberate fire in 2017 – it was a house fire and I was also involved so the counselling I needed post-event was quite complicated.
“I needed counselling for the loss of him and also for my own injuries.
“My voice was affected and I had a tracheotomy which meant I couldn’t go back to my job.
“I’d never used a mental health service before and I never thought I needed counselling, but I literally reached out to them when I felt I couldn’t control it any more.
“So actually I would be frightened to think what would have happened if I hadn’t found them.
“I was so angry all the time – I felt like I had lost my purpose, my aim in life, and, it sounds drastic to say, but my reason for existing.
“You know, I had lost my partner, my sense of self-worth, respect.
“I work for the police now so naturally my partner being murdered, there are sometimes triggers in my work to do with murder or fire or violent crime.
“But I can talk about whatever I’m upset about and they (The Manda Centre) are never too busy and they never can’t fit me in.”
Shielding during lockdown
Lockdown has also been tough for Bex in the past year as she was shielding on her own from March to around the end of July.
“The problem for me was it gave me far too much time to think,” she explained.
“I think because everyone’s lockdown experience is so different and people are at home with family and their partners, because I was by myself I kept going: ‘If Cameron was here, we would be in lockdown together and it wouldn’t be so bad’.
“It felt far removed from everything normal but I think it was just such a relief that I found the guys at the centre, I went in and explained to them, and they went: ‘Yeah, we get that, that’s totally normal, don’t worry about it, we’re here to help you’.
“I remember my first session I just broke down crying because it was such a release to explain all this to somebody and have them understand.”
Speaking outside the High Court in Edinburgh following Blair’s sentencing in 2017, Bex’s father Philip spoke on behalf of his daughter who paid tribute to her “best friend and partner”.
He said: “The horror of what happened in that room will haunt me forever. It was a calculated and intentional attack. Cameron died in the most cruel way in front of my eyes.”
To find out more about the work of The Manda Centre and to donate, visit http://themandacentre.co.uk/.
