A Blairgowrie couple have told of how a memory box has helped them deal with the pain of losing their first baby.
Natasha Dick, 31, gave birth to James Leo McKim Dick (shortened to JJ – James Junior) at Ninewells on March 27 last year.
The tot was prematurely born at 33 weeks with bilateral renal dysplasia (underdeveloped kidneys).
Tragically, JJ died 24 hours later after it was also discovered he had pulmonary hypoplasia (underdeveloped lungs) and oligohydramnios.
“A doctor told us this affects one family a year in Scotland,” said father Arron, 31.
“Unfortunately it happened to be us.”
The couple say a Simba memory box has helped them cope with the heartbreak of JJ’s passing.
They have praised all those who support Simba, including the Enchanted Forest Community Trust which this year awarded money to the charity in its annual donations.
And now the couple have been blessed by the birth of healthy 14-week-old daughter Alba – labelled a “miracle baby”.
Teddy for JJ and for parents
Simba is a charity that helps grieving parents honour and remember their babies who have died young.
Its flagship initiative is a memory box, which is a tool to help parents gather memories of the precious time that they spent with their baby.
When it became clear JJ would pass away a Ninewells nurse handed Natasha and Arron a large box due to him being older than 24 weeks.
Small ones are offered to honour babies under 14 weeks gestation, with medium ones for those between 14 and 24 weeks.
The box included a certificate, wooden love hearts and ink that enabled the couple to keep copies of JJ’s hand and footprints.
“They take pride of place on the wall at home,” Natasha said.
After JJ passed the couple also gave him a bath and groomed his hair using a brush contained in the box.
There were also two identical teddy bears that had been knitted by volunteers.
“One went with JJ when he was buried and we have still got the other one so there is always a connection,” Natasha said.
“I love the teddy bear.
“They are only the size of your hand but knowing that someone somewhere knitted it with love for us is incredibly important.”
‘I can pull that box from the shelf and think of him’
The box has provided a platform for the couple to add other sentimental items.
These include a hospital tag, tiny blood pressure cuff, nappy, order of service from JJ’s funeral, ultrasound scans and sympathy cards.
“It’s early days,” Natasha said.
“Our son died just over a year ago, and coming to terms with it is a long process.
“We don’t have our son with us but we have that box, which is really valuable for us.
“It’s something you never ever want to receive but if you are in that horrible position it is a wonderful thing to have and is deeply treasured.
“We can’t cuddle and kiss him but I can pull that box from the shelf, look through it and think of him.”
Coming together at remembrance events
Simba also holds remembrance events in cities across for Scotland for those who have experienced baby loss.
Last summer the couple attended a ceremony in Oban that included songs and signing baby names.
It additionally meant they could meet others who had suffered similar heartbreak.
There are also trees of tranquillity in sites across Scotland, including Dundee Botanic Gardens.
Here, grieving parents remember their lost babies by making inscriptions on ornamental trees made of copper.
“Simba is not just a one stop shop with your memory boxes,” Natasha said.
“Support keeps going and is always there.”
‘Miracle baby’ one year on
On March 22 2023, less than a year after JJ’s passing, the couple celebrated the birth of Alba.
Arron calls her a “miracle baby.”
“JJ made us ready to be parents,” he added.
“When we lost him we were devastated.
“His wee sister came along and has given us the best 14 weeks of a terrible year before it.
“We are part of an exclusive club you do not want to be in.
“But you know you are not alone when you meet other people.
“A lot of parents are entitled to nothing when their baby dies but to be given a box meant so much to us.”
Enchanted Forest funding
Simba is one of 17 charities operating in Perthshire that have shared £49,750 from this year’s Enchanted Forest Community Fund.
The fund was set up in 2015 to redistribute the proceeds from the annual event to the local community.
The following charities have all been awarded funding in 2023:
- Pitlochry Festival Theatre
- Checkin Works/Giraffe Trading
- Pegasus Vaulting Group
- Scottish Youth Film Foundation
- Simba
- Vale of Atholl Pipers Association
- Upper Tay Anti-Poverty Support Group
- Pitlochry and District Choral Society
- Horizon Lunch Club
- Pitlochry and Blair Atholl Pip Band
- Heartland FM
- Dunkeld, Birnam and District Comm Development Trust
- Moulin Kirk Trust
- Handam Refill Station
- Blair Atholl in Bloom
- Breadalbane and Strathtay Youth FC
- Breadalbane Canoe Club
In addition, £3,950 in discretionary donations were shared by the following organisations in 2023:
- Shopmobility
- Pitlochry in Bloom
- Pitlochry Path Group
- Perth and Kinross Scottish Women’s Institutes Young Dippers Group
- Dunkeld and Birnam Youth Music Group
- 17th Perthshire Aberfeldy Scouts
- Perth Minorities Association
- Pitlochry Music Festival
- Pitlochry Winter Lights
Nela Popovic, executive director of the Enchanted Forest Community Trust, said: “It’s our way of saying thank you to those who have very graciously supported the event from the very beginning.
“We know that the show would not be the success that it is without the support of the local Highland Perthshire community.”
