The recent revelation about someone emailing a guest at their wedding to complain that the £100 cheque they had given as a present was inadequate has set my blood boiling on so many levels I am almost faint with indignation.
The wedding guest posted about this anonymously on Mumsnet, writing that the email included the lines: “We were surprised that your contribution didn’t seem to match the warmth of your good wishes on our big day.” It then added, helpfully: “If you wanted to send any adjustment it would be thankfully received.”
It’s not just the sentiment that makes me feel a lie-down in a darkened room with a cold flannel coming on, it’s the fact that it was a “thank-you email”. As someone who recently found herself paralysed with anxiety whilst attempting to send a thank-you text after a dinner party – because I hadn’t yet written out a proper thank-you on real card in an envelope – this was a prime example of how manners and etiquette are becoming a thing of the past, thanks to today’s reliance on digital meeja.
I know many people will dismiss this as a First World problem, but I firmly believe it matters that people are polite and I love an old-fashioned thank you. In writing. On actual paper or card. An email or text is not the same. As my regular reader knows, I have a general hankering for the good old days of sending and receiving letters and I feel the same way about thank-yous.
On the subject of wedding presents, I also have fairly strong views. I firmly believe that friends and family who splash out on new outfits, travel to the wedding, pay for a hotel and sometimes take a day off work for the privilege of celebrating with the happy couple don’t really need the added expense of shelling out for a showy gift.
I’m not being mean, I speak as a person who has been the wedding present recipient – twice. And don’t even get me started on the whole issue of ever more expensive and exotic stag and hen weekends or weeks…
