What first springs to mind when you think of the 90s?
It probably depends on your age.
Mine was the era of Tamagotchi, Spice Girls, Hubba Bubba, inflatable furniture, ChuckleVision and New Labour.
But whether you were old enough at the time to play Snake on an indestructible Nokia, or young enough to afford a 10p Taz bar, one 90s experience was universal.
The clothes were a hell of a lot better back then than they are now.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the last few weeks.
My seven year-old daughter has recently discovered the joys of 90s fashion.
(Depressingly, this is a trend which is now being described as ‘’vintage’’.)
In the same week I found my first, official, it’s-definitely-not-just-the-dry-shampoo grey hair, my daughter was looking at photos of me from when I was wee and declaring that I was SO STYLISH in the olden days.
It’s nice to be appreciated for my sartorial brilliance, but the problem is now she wants to wear those clothes too.
With all eyes on Scotland as world leaders meet for the COP26 summit, I thought buying second hand would be something Greta would approve of.
But 90s clothes must be making a comeback that stretches far beyond our flat, because they cost an absolute fortune.
It’s weird to see the stuff I used to wear, passed down from siblings and cousins, now being marketed as ‘”Genuine vintage 90s’’ and priced like its made from spun gold.
In all seriousness, if you are looking to make some extra cash before Christmas, get up to the loft and see what old clothes you have.
Stick them on Ebay and collect your riches.
You can thank me later.
What every girl wants? Pockets
Fortunately my daughter’s dad is a soft-touch and so he agreed to fork out for an – admittedly, very beautiful – 90s snowsuit that she’d found online.
This is where the difference in clothes between then and now really stands out.
Upon delivery, she was absolutely delighted to discover that it had not one, but FOUR useable pockets.
It was roomy and comfortable and made for action.
the wee one just convinced her dad to buy her this overpriced second hand 90s snowsuit and I am 1: slightly terrified by her powers of persuasion and 2: slightly jealous that it doesn’t come in my size pic.twitter.com/j9F3la10EW
— Kirsty Strickland (@KirstyStricklan) October 21, 2021
Anybody who has bought clothes for wee girls in recent years will know this isn’t always a given.
Clothes marketed at girls are bland and impractical.
They are miniature versions of the same uncomfortable outfits that retailers offer women.
There are plenty of stitched-up ‘fashion’ pockets but nothing you could put rocks, sticks or a half-eaten Mars Bar in.
And the sizing and fit of pre-pubescent girls’ clothes verges on the ridiculous.
Maybe they still want adventure, world domination, and to run so fast they think their heart is going to explode
The jeans are skinny and the shorts are micro. The tops are tight and mostly pink.
T-shirts are emblazoned with twee slogans about being nice and happy and eating glitter and sunshine for breakfast.
Maybe they do this so wee girls will be less inclined towards civil disobedience over the fact they’re not allowed pockets.
Some retailers have even started putting heels on girls’ footwear.
When I came across a few of these while looking for winter boots for my daughter recently, I spent a long time trying to figure out why.
While I'm at it, here's a @clarksshoes poster on display in their shop yesterday. Just look at the girl's shoes compared with the boy's. What chance has she got of keeping her feet dry and warm when she's playing? How can she kick a ball or climb a tree? pic.twitter.com/QdBcSkJxtv
— Kate Long (@volewriter) October 27, 2021
How did that product meeting go?
What genius stood up and announced that the thing that would improve the tiny wee boot for the tiny wee foot would be to make it less safe to walk and run in?
And why was that person almost definitely a man?
The only possible explanation is that they think it looks nice.
But maybe seven year-old girls don’t want the attractive, slightly elongated calf muscles that only a heel can offer.
Maybe, they still want adventure, world domination, and to run so fast they think their heart is going to explode.
90s fashion is back – at our house
Anyway, we don’t need to worry about these gendered injustices anymore because our house is now firmly committed to the golden age of fashion.
I’ve even got in on the action myself.
The bright colours and chaotic mixed patterns of my daughter’s new-old snowsuit made me look at my all-black wardrobe with regret.
I was fun in the 90s.
I used to climb trees without worrying about falling and breaking my teeth.
Now I warily descend stairs with the grim expectation that a tumble is surely imminent.
Maybe the bold colours and oversized jumpers of my youth contributed to that feeling of vibrancy.
It’s worth a try, anyway.
So I am now the proud owner of three 90s jackets of varying degrees of wackiness.
Everybody apart from my daughter thinks they are hideous.
It’s a good job hers is the only opinion I really care about.
Retailers can keep their camel-coloured winter coats and fifty shades of boring grey jumpers.
This winter, my daughter and I want comfort and colour.
Now, who is going to let me have a rummage in their loft?