I had no idea being funny was such hard work – until I was asked to join the panel on BBC Scotland’s Breaking the News.
You’d think it would be easy to just pitch up to a gig and tell a few amusing stories.
In reality it’s the comedians who make it look that way.
It was a few years ago that I was first asked to stand in at the last minute on the topical comedy panel show hosted by Des Clarke.
Someone much better-known could no longer make it and my policy is to always say yes to any opportunity that comes my way.
So I did.
There then followed 24 hours of angst as I imagined myself sitting on stage like a rabbit in the headlights, surrounded by dazzling wit as I wilted in the spotlight.
From playground clown to Breaking the News
The show is usually recorded in front of a live audience (doubly petrifying).
And for that very first appearance I was recording with comedy legend Rory Bremner.
So no pressure.
As it turned out, he’s also an incredibly nice and supportive man, who gave me a pep talk, laughed heartily at my unvarnished attempts at humour on stage and then went out of his way afterwards to assure me I’d done well.
I’ll never forget it.
And although it was scary, I ended up having a great time.
I’ve always been a bit of a joker, honing my skills at school.
If I poked fun at myself first I didn’t leave much room for anyone else to do it.
I also equate making people laugh with putting them at ease. So it’s my go-to as an ice breaker – as it is for a lot of people.
But there’s a big difference between those who can raise a chuckle or tell a silly story, as I like to do, and those who can reduce an audience to howls of laughter right on cue.
That’s what I’ve learned from doing a show like Breaking the News.
Raising laughs on demand
That very first time I marvelled at the ability of comedians to take the mundane and spin it into a humorous masterpiece.
It’s been the same on the shows I’ve appeared on since.
Comedy is a craft, like any other, that needs to be honed.
It involves timing. The phrasing has to be just right. So does the tone, the expression, the pacing of your words.
Watching comedians up close I realised that to work your way up to a level where you are able to make people laugh on demand, there had to have been a lot of practice involved – and a lot of pain.
Laughter is your reward. But if you put time and energy into a joke that falls flat there then follows that awful silence where you know it bombed and so does the audience.
That’s the point when most of us would decide we’d rather spend our evenings in front of the TV with a pack of Hobnobs.
But comedians enjoy putting their feet to the flames.
They know they’ll either leave the stage in a blaze of glory, or fizzle out in a puff of smoke.
And they get up there and do it anyway.
Survival of the wittiest
Last week I was back on BBC Scotland as I joined the show, along with Raymond Mearns, Paul McDaniel and Ria Lina.
Two years had passed since I’d sat in front of an audience.
But rather than worrying about my own performance, I relished the chance to watch these fine comics work their magic.
🎉ON AIR AGAIN🎉
Join @des_clarke on @BBCRadioScot now for a look back at the week's big headlines with; @rialina_, @RaymondMearns, @ClareS_J and @PaulPmcdaniel
#BreakingTheNews 📰
🔊Streaming @BBCSounds: https://t.co/8IswfQ2KTP pic.twitter.com/eCfml1wBkk— BBC Scotland Comedy (@BBCComedyScot) April 2, 2022
In particular I delighted in Des Clarke’s ability to take almost any scenario and turn it into a punchline.
For my part I had an archive full of mishaps and past misadventures to draw on.
Including the time I wanted to break up with a boyfriend when I was a student in Cardiff and he was back in Edinburgh.
Sometimes breaking a heart ends up on Breaking the News
Rather than phone him (I was trying to be kind – particularly to myself), I decided to write a letter.
The problem was I knew the street he lived on, but not the house number.
So I made a copy of the original letter and sent it two different addresses.
He ended up receiving both after a neighbour handed in the duplicate.
Ouch.
Des took that silly scenario and elevated it into a brilliant punchline without blinking.
It’s an extraordinary skill.
So, yes, comedians are funny.
But next time one of them has you rolling in the aisles, remember – it’s a serious business that requires practice, commitment and a huge amount of resilience to achieve success.
